I'm GONNA LOSE IT!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
I'm GONNA LOSE IT!!!!
3
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 12:21pm

Well, just when you think you might have consecutive good days in a row, think again.

STBX showed up Wednesday night to drop off all the bills that I am now paying. The rotten S.O.B. loved it but I managed to kill him with kindness UNTIL, he goes into my house, SHOWED UP WITH CHINESE FOOD FOR HIMSELF, plants his butt down at my kitchen table, grabs the gallon of milk and STARTS EATING! Well, I lost it!!!! I told him it was court ordered for him to not waltz in and out of this house anymore AND HE IS NO LONGER WELCOME HERE!!! So, he jumps up from the table like the raging lunatic he is and starts screaming 6" from my face how this is still is house, the truck is still his and his attorney told him he can take that truck whenever he wants!! I almost called 911, I mean, this is the b.s. I had dealt with for years, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

He finally left in a rage, left the leftovers for my kids. He also made some dig about how he thought I'd have dinner ready for the kids, but oh yeah, I don't cook anymore! Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

So, yesterday, I called my attorney, of course, she's on vacation till Monday, go home after work to find WE HAVE NO WATER! I had to borrow $1300 from my girlfriend in N.H.!!! OMG! And STBX said to me "oh, that's a huge problem to have NO water, I'm really sorry about that"!!! Didn't even offer a credit card or anything! So, I'm going to try to see if I can get at least 1/2 back from him, hey, he says the house and vehicle are still his, well, he can contribute then right?

Oh, I am just so disgusted. I don't know how much longer I can stand all this nonsense. I am emotionally drained and just feel like crawling under a rock.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just at wits end right now. UGH!
Hugs,
Jennifer

Jennifer

Proud Mom of Travis (15) and Mandi (10)

and our pets, Sully the Dog and Till

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 1:22pm

Next time I would call the police. Seriously. Pick up the phone and say I am dialing 911 if you do not leave my home. If he takes your truck report it stolen. That's what I would do. This man is totally out of control.

I know how hard it is to remain calm when all he is doing is pushing your buttons, my ex used to do the same thing. I remember when he came to move stuff out of the house I was leaving for vacation and he says "Oh I'll lock up" I said I don't think so and made him move the stuff on the porch and I locked up. He was so mad.

Is he paying you anything??? Child support? anything? I mean how come you are having to pay bills but he's not required to pay for the kids if you have primary custody of them.

This seems like its going to be a long battle with this guy. I'd try to remain as calm as possible with him. Count to 10 in your head if you have too, I know how hard it is, but try not to lose it. If he starts screaming at you, grab the phone and call 911 and tell them your ex is in your home screaming at you and you've asked him to leave, he's not allowed to be there and he won't leave. He'll leave. Let him know you are serious about him abiding by the rules of the agreement. He gets a kick out of pushing you around he's a bully, he calls you and berates you and he gets a kick out of it for some reason and your used to taking it for years. No more mom!!!! You've come too far to take this abuse!!! HUGS!!!

As the saying goes YOU ARE WOMAN HEAR YOU ROAR!!!!

Oh and on a side note. BUWHAHAHAHAHA on the OW. I think it's hysterical that the OW is getting married. LMFAO!!!! there is sweet justice in the world.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 4:54pm

Jennifer,

I'm sorry your STBX is at it again. You need to get a copy of that court order where he is not to come and go as he please in your house. If he refuses to leave after having been asked to, call the police and show them that court order. A lot of times the police can't do anything because they say it is a domestic dispute and that it is out of their hands (never really made sense because it is still a dispute). However, if you have that court order they will be forced to enforce it and get your STBX out of that house.

It is very low of your husband to not help you with any of the bills. He wants to have claims of everything but doesn't want to take the responsiblity for them. He can't have it both ways. If he says it is his house still, then he best be sharing the bills. Also, he should help you anyway because you have the kids. Though he doesn't live with you all anymore I would think he's still responsible for providing for your kids.

Any type of interaction with the ex always gets under my skin. I've tried very hard to cut off all communication with him. I know this is something you don't have an option with since you share kids with him. Perhaps set a fixed schedule for his visitation and when he comes and picks them up don't talk to him. Same when he drops them off. Anytime you see him, he will push your buttons. It is guaranteed. I am convinced that despite having already hurt us enough to last a lifetime, their goal is to make us as miserable as possible. It sounds like your STBX is very much like mine. He will take every opportunity to get me upset. The more upset I get the happier he is. It is time to turn the table around. It is our turn to push their buttons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 09-16-2006 - 8:27am

I think you're suffering from the same thing I did - trying to be too nice and accommodating! You do NOT have to open the door for him. If he's coming to get the kids, send them outside. I know it's easy to say, "change the locks," but that's expensive. For about $15.00 you can get this bar-type device that sticks under the handle of your door so no one can get in, even if they have a key. It's basically a door-jammer.


NO MORE letting him in!