I'm having a meltdown
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I'm having a meltdown
| Sun, 06-18-2006 - 7:53pm |
I just went to pick up my kids from their dad's house. Found out that they spent Father's Day at a photographer's getting "family" pictures taken with stbx, his gf, his mom, gf's dad. Yes, it was confirmed that my stbx, gf and the kids had pics done of just them. This breaks my heart. I cried most of the way home with them in the car. I feel bad I did that. I don't know what else to say. It just hurts.

I thought I posted to this before but I can't find my reply....
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
Right after my now ex-H left my son and I, the OW had a family portrait taken of her, my H,my son, her son by another marriage and the baby that she had with my then still H. Then she hung it in a conspicuous place where everytime I picked up my son from seeing his dad I would see it. It felt for a while like my heart was ripped to shreds everytime I saw it.
Honey, it does get better. The relationship between the OW and my ex-H is no longer. It was all a facade, a hideous sideshow. You are taking the high road, your integrity intact. Remember once you lose your integrity, you have lost everything. That is what your STBX and his OW and to a certain extent the other adults who are partaking in this farce have lost. They have to live with themselves. Unless they are sociopaths, they will eventually regret their actions.......
I just don't know what the two of them are thinking. They've only been together since December, and not married. The jerk isn't even legally divorced yet and he's already pretending he has a new family.
That's terrible to hear what your ex did, but good to hear your kids were able to stand up to them. My 5 year old daughter had her own little protest in that she refused to smile in any of the pictures.
Thank you so much for this reply. Your statement about integrity saved me from doing something foolish. My initial reaction to finding out how they spent the day was to get very quiet, but my stbx and his gf could tell something was really upsetting me. I left their house with the kids without saying goodbye.
Last night my stbx had to drop off my daughter's teddy bear that she had accidentally left at his place. I had been stewing for hours over this whole thing and decided I was going to feed right into his b.s. and tell him off when he got to my house. I knew it was a stupid move, and would really only hurt me in the end, but I was so upset I didn't care. Then I saw your post literally minutes before he got here, and realized what I needed to do was just let them play their game and ignore it.
The only part of this I don't feel good about is that I directly asked my 11 yr. old son if they took pics with just the kids, dad and gf. When he said yes I cried. I shouldn't have asked, and I shouldn't have cried in front of them.
Gwen,
Don't feel bad about showing your kids that you are human - they need someone to know that they love them more than ever now. Be strong - if you need some help to get over this hump, find a counselor. Talk/Vent to him/her. Above all try to stay above the fray. Your stbx and OW true colors will come out - keep your head high that you are the better person. You will have to bite your tongue so many times it will bleed - but I never said anything bad about my son's dad to my son - and I am so glad I didn't.
You can reach me through my profile if you would like to "talk."
Gwen,
I can imagine how much that one must hurt... I hope that today finds you in a happier place...
Thinking of you...
Julie
I am so sorry. I tell myself every hour that I will not display or act on a knee-jerk reaction to the pain. I have just started on this site this weekend and it has helped a lot to have someone to talk to. Please stay strong and do not feed into the bs, I think they like to make us look like the bad guy. Mine knows what buttons to push, I am in the process of trying to disconnect them.
Stay strong, I am proud of you for not reacting with the knee-jerk confrontation.
Vicki