im a lier and a sinner
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im a lier and a sinner
| Tue, 08-22-2006 - 6:52pm |
hi im a 24yr old male that has being with a girl for 8 yrs and married to her for 2yrs and have 2 kids and a good job and a lovley home,heres my story, My dad died a month a go from a drug over dose, and he was remarried to a women who had kids and one of them was a girl who i found attractive and my wife asked if i did and i said yes but i love my wife and cherish her more than any thing,and she got mad at me and decided to work it out well then my stupid ass started talking to this girl on the phone,and my wife found out and said if you love me and want me you better stop and i didnt i talk to here for 4 more days then i told her i love my wife and i want nothing to do with her and my wife found out that i was still talking to her and took the kids and left to her moms,the things i said on the phone to this whore were unappropreate,and inmoral,and i stop talking to her a week befor with wife found out i love my wife so much and she is the greatest women on earth to me why did i do this can it be fixed i also lie alot about nothing ,and have a munipulating others promlem and i am selfish ,i also had a problem with prescibsion pain pills,darvocit and vicodin,i am in transaction of changing because i dont like who i am for my kids and wife and my self,HOW CAN I FIX MY MARRIAGE I LOVE HER SO DEAR I DONT WANT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT NO BEING WITH HER ,but no she says she doesnt want to be with me and wants a divorce when she can get the money and wants a man that loves her but i do i just didnt show it PLEASE PLEASE HELP HELP ME I LOVE HER AND MY KIDS SO MUCH TNKS also to so her i want nothing to do with this other girl i changed my cell# and home# and called the poclice to tell them to tell her no to call me i also git read of every thing that would remind us of her all my dads stuff ,pictures,a dog,clothes,i even had my grand mom call them and tell them to stay out of my life is it to late or do i have a chance with my wife
Edited 8/22/2006 7:06 pm ET by liersinner
Edited 8/22/2006 7:06 pm ET by liersinner

It seems that your wife gave you opportunities to work on your marriage and you paid her lip service in return. You continued to cause her pain with the "whore" you speak of now. She did the only thing she could do under the circumstances. She left. Had she stayed after she told you that if you didn't stop this she would divorce you, you would have lost whatever respect you had left for her and walked all over her because you would have determined that she was weak and you could do whatever you wanted because she would never carry out her threat.
I applaude her for taking control of her life. I hope you have learned a valuable lesson to take with you in any future relationships you may have.
Whether your wife takes you back or not is up to her -- but you can change your behavior and hope she decides she still loves you enough to try again.
First go to counseling with her, both independent and couple counseling. If she will not agree to couple counseling, you still need independent counseling so you can figure out why you screwed up your marriage and won't make the same mistakes in future relationships.
Second get help for your prescription addiction. Drugs will not solve your problems and if you stay on drugs you will not love your family as you should.
Third show her by your actions that you have changed. It sounds like you have started this process, by getting rid of things that remind you of the other woman. Now do NOT contact this girl again. As long as you have any contact with the other woman you are not going to get your wife back.
If you do the things above you may have a chance to get your wife back, but it will still depend on whether or not you have hurt her too deeply for her to forgive you.
Good luck
GT
I don't see where you did anything other than to agree with wife that you found this person attractive, and then TALK to her. OK - if you said you wouldn't but you did, that wasn't a nice thing to do. But certainly it's not so awful to cause a divorce! There are other reasons that you aren't telling us about I think. If thinknig someone else was attractive was a reason to be angry at a spouse, then every spouse would be angry all the time! Whats wrong with that?
More important here - what jumps off this page is incredible IMMATURITY! This whole scenario is childish. You are 24 years old & have been with your wife since you were 16? That's a baby! And you have 2 kids? And a drug problem. Evidently following in your father's footsteps - and having children when so immature I fear will assure that your kids follow in these same footsteps. I hope not - I hope the chain of drugs & irresponsibility is broken by your children - but I doubt it will be. The odds are against them.
It always amazes me that you need to take a test & get a license to fish, but not to be a parent. Children should not be having children.