I'm new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
I'm new here
1
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 5:11pm

I have decided to leave my abusive husband - FINALLY. I just turned 27 & we have two beautiful sons (4 & 1). They are the only ggod thing that has come out of our relationship. I have wanted to leave for a while, but finally, on Mother's Day, I had a heart to heart with my family, and I finally made my decision. I am going thru a really rough time right now. My mother was just told she has a mass on her lung. It looks like cancer, but we won't know for sure until she has surgery to remove it and they do a biopsy. Hopefully, once it's removed, she will be cured. My family has been there for us in so many ways - financially, letting us live there rent free for a long time (we have our own place now - but need to leave by July 1) He is totally insensitive to my situation - even saying "F" your family screaming it in my face. My son is always angry, and has problems in school. I have an intake appt with a children's counsellor June 1st. He said some really hurtful things Mother's Day weekend and that was pretty much the last straw. My Bday went pretty much unacknowledged this month, as well as our anniversary yesterday. He is just a VERY nasty person, and while he hasn't really been physically abusive recently (only pushing me once in a while) his emotional abuse has become too much for me to bear. Especially since it's affecting DS, I need to leave. My friend has an apartment she will rent to me in a neighborhood he will never find me.

I am leaving unannounced. I know I can start packing without it being too suspicious b/c we are supposed to move soon anyway (landlords have called the police a few times b/c of the fighting - they don't like him at all) I am just afraid when I actually remove my stuff what he will do to the stuff I'm leaving behind for now. I've spoken to my landlord and she will give me access to the apartment after he leaves, but I don't know when that will be. I'm sure she will call. I'm just afraid he will stay there as long as possible, and also that he will follow me, harass me, hurt me...who knows? I plan to file an order of protection and for full custody as soon as I get out. His school knows the situation as well since my son tells them of the fighting. I told them my intentions, so they are working with DS to make him feel better.

I am excited about starting a new life, but scared to death at the same time. I pity my husband, and worry about how he will get by...and when he's actually nice to me, I start feeling guilty about my decision... But I know its for the best.

Thanks for listening to my story. You guys may see alot of me here...gonna need all the support I can get at this point. THanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 5:44pm

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to prepare to leave.


Glad you found us.... we're definitely here with you!


hugs,


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~