I'm so confused......please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
I'm so confused......please help
2
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 9:38pm
Here's the problem. My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost 8 years now. The reason for the demise of the marriage was his infidelity (that I suspected at the time), and my anger with him. Oh, and did I mention his drinking???!!! Anyway, for the first few years of the past 8, we attempted to get back together several times. We had no counciling, just us, trying without success. Since our last attempt, my ex has been in a few commited relationships, and me.....well let's just say my "wall" is really high!! Anyway, it seems that everytime there is a "crisis" involving the kids, or something else that may bring us together, our feelings for eachother come rushing back. Back in October, he had a terrible motorcycle accident. He has not walked since, but he is on the road to recovery. A long term relationship recently ended for him, and I began one 3 months ago. He called me last week, sounding very positive despite his situation. He is attending a local church, and very much wants to turn his life over to God. He asked me to bring the kids for a visit to the rehabilitation center where he is staying. While we were there, preparing him for a day out, he had a horrible accident. We spent the next 8 hours with him in the emergency room, where he cryed, and apoloized for hurting me over, and over. The love I have in my heart for this man is so strong. Will it ever fade? Is there a reason that this keeps happening to us? I am soooooo confused. When I try to listen to my voice inside, there are two! The voice of logic, and the voice of love. If anyone has had a similar experience, or has advice, please help!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 9:51pm

Wow, you are definately not alone here! I don't think your love for him will ever fade. I am going through it too, ending a relationship of 13 years, we don't have kids, but our families have become one over the years and my heart is shattered...

I suggest that you go to counceling on your own. Sometimes it just helps to relive the story from beginning to end with an unbiased opinion. Making yourself hear it from your own mouth may make you see certain things you didn't see before, good or bad. No one can tell you what is right except you. I too have heard two voices and I know that one was my head (telling me I was right about his cheating and I was better off without him) and the other was my heart (telling me that I love him and to hang on to the marriage). Those two fighting can be quite a battle.

Hugs,
Beanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 11:51am

Hello & Welcome!..... OK, I know I shouldn't say this first.... but it's the first thing I thought about.... did the ER (or rehab center) give him drugs.... for pain?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~