I'm so lonely, restless, frustrated, etc

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
I'm so lonely, restless, frustrated, etc
2
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 12:52pm

I just don't know what to do with myself!

You know, it's such a long story, but my husband just moved out. He moved to another state leaving me with two little boys. I really didn't see it coming. I thought that we were just going thru a rough patch, he's been suffering from a little mid-life crisis, I thought we were both committed to our marriage and our family and that things would work out. I am SHOCKED. I just can't believe that I am in this situation!

I just pace around the house not knowing what to do with myself. I am constantly waiting for the next "thing" on my schedule and if I don't have anything scheduled, I go nuts pacing around in circles. I check my email a million times a day, but there isn't any. I'm constantly looking for something to distract me, but there isn't much! Luckily, I registered for some classes at the community college right before I found out he was leaving. I do have that to keep me busy, but it's not even enough. I am keeping up with my school work, but I cannot concentrate on any extra studying or anything. At least I have my classes to get me out of the house and be around people or I'd be so isolated. I really don't have many friends. My husband has been my best and closest friend for 12 years. I have been a sahm for 10 years, I have no job and no real social life. I have been at home because we both felt that that was the best for our kids. He has been traveling for work for most of our marriage, which would have been difficult for him to do if I had to work outside of the home. And now he is just going to walk away. Leaving me with no job, no degree, no warning and no concern on his part about how I'm going to take care of my boys or how this will affect them.

I've taken care of all the urgent business that I needed to tend to, and now I'm just waiting. He has moved most of what he's taking out and this week he's coming back to take his car and whatever else he is going to take. The next weekend is my 9yo's bday and he's supposed to be back for that. I'm just sick over this. We talked about a month ago and we decided we needed to do something about our problems, he agreed to see a counselor and work on it, two weeks later he was shipping his stuff out behind my back, lying to me about it. I wonder what he was up to while he was pretending that he was going to work on things??? What else has he been lying to me about? Do you know, when I asked him to clean out his enormous mess that he has left in the garage (he's been neglecting our home for years because he doesn't think he should have to work all week AND do chores at home, too), he had the nerve to call me an ingrate! I am supposed to be happy that he's leaving me his unwanted garbage. He said I should be happy and have a garage sale! Gee, I'm sorry, I don't want that crap, I want a husband and a father for my kids!!!

UGH!!! I'm so mad! Not to mention a lot of other things! I just don't really know what to do now. What do I do next?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 1:54pm

It is really tough to be the primary caretaker of 2 little kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:23pm

Hey there.