I'm Telling Him I'm Leaving Him Saturday

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2007
I'm Telling Him I'm Leaving Him Saturday
2
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 5:54pm

I haven't been on the board for awhile, because my department moved into a new office and now we are right on top of each other and I haven't been able to visit the boards. After months of trying to decide though I've finally accepted that my marriage isn't going anywhere, I still care for my H but I don't really love him anymore, I'm just not invested in the relationship. Because everytime I've tried to talk about this with him he's turned cold and told me if I'm going to leave to decide now and get out fast. I always gave in because I really just wanted to talk about it, but I did realize that if I ever decided to go, I'd better have an escape route.


I don't have any family here so I've been hunting for an apartment. I found one last weekend and signed the lease agreement on Tuesday. A good friend has said I can say with her for a couple of days until I'm ready to move, now all I have to do is tell him!!!


The hard part is that he's been really great the last couple of weeks. I think its a couple things, but mainly timing, he was under a lot of stress 3 weeks ago and was a complete jerk to me, but that stress was alleviated and I think that I've been more open to him since I made my decision to leave, since I know that my happiness isn't tied to him anymore, so he's actually been nice to be around. It just makes it hard to think of slapping him with this out of the blue - it just seems so cruel, but I've finally made up my mind and have to do this now.


My mom and friend have really been helping by calling me a lot and reminding me why I'm doing this. Its not like any of the problems have gone away just because we've got along for a couple of weeks. So I'm just trying to appreciate that I get to enjoy my last time with him as a wife, because who knows how he'll treat me after I tell him I'm leaving.


The fact is, I'll miss him but I am finally over him. I found out that he'd been calling his ex-wife three times a day for months. First thing in the morning, lunch time, right before bed - that sounds like an affair of some kind to me. You know what I though? Good. Just more confirmation I was doing the right thing, I didn't even get upset!


I'm so ready to do this, but so scared at the same time. Has anyone else known without a doubt they were still doing the right thing but still didn't want to do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 10:56am
Funny, as women we always carry guilt ..... when my husband is suddenly nice I get all soft .... I suck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 11:40pm
Hope it goes well.... you deserve to be happy... ALL the time.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~