Interfaith Relationship Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2011
Interfaith Relationship Issues
3
Fri, 10-18-2013 - 1:21pm

Me and my muslim boyfriend of 7 years recently broke up because according to him he could not accept my hindu religion. We had extensively disccused religion head on in our relationship and we continued to discussed  whenever needed. We were also discussing on getting married and just a month back he purchased a house and we were discussing interiors and furnishing. A week ago he confronted  that he is unable to accept by religion and brokeup.

Current situation: He did not want to move out (the lease is under my name). He says it will take around 6 months to look for a new house, so he did rather live here until the lease runs out. So we live in the same house for which I just renewed the lease (a day before breakup). Its a three BHK, two storey townhouse. He lives on the first floor and me on the second. Ground area is common. He will be getting possession of his new house after a year or more. So i am sure he wont be moving out anytime soon.

I know this is not an ideal situation. What I would like to know is does he still has feelings for me? Because I am really confused. We did not argue much or fight either and it was really a perfect relationship - up until that moment. He said he had been thinking about it lately and couldnt tell his parents he wanted to marry a hindu girl. I also did not force him to marriage and was quite content with the live-in arrangement. We both have very good jobs and are financially very secured.

Anyways, this is what really bothers me - when I asked him what was that he did not accept about my religion and he said its the reincarnation part - because he would like to be with me in Paradise (after death) :S. I am just confused right now.a

Any insight is appreacited. Thank you! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-18-2013 - 1:57pm

I think for some people who are quite religious, a relationship w/ someone of a different religion is not possible.  I think also when you plan on getting married & having kids, that could be a big concern--whose religion are the kids going to be raised in?  there are some religions that aren't that different (different Christian churches, for example, might not have the exact same practices but still believe in the same Bible) but Muslim & Hindu are very very different.  Plus if he knows his family might have a very bad reaction to this and doesn't want to upset his family, that could play into it also.

What I don't think is so great is him insisting that he needs to stay in your place for 6 more months.  I would tell him to forget it--if he wants to break up, that's fine, but then he needs to find a place to live ASAP.  I'm sure he could rent an apt. somewhere.  Tell him he has one month to get out.  You might have to consult a lawyer to see if he qualifies as a tenant of yours because then you would have to take the right legal steps to get him to move out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 12:11am

If he cannot accept your religion, then getting married would be a disaster.  And what about children.....how will they be raised?  Marriage is hard enough without adding religious differences to it! 

As for him moving out, why in the world would it take a year for him to be able to move into a house he purchased a month ago?  That makes no sense.  He needs to get out of your apartment.  How are you supposed to heal from a broken relationship when he's still there?  Give him a month to find another living arrangement........and now you know that Hindus and Muslims aren't compatible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 10:30am

If religion was so important to him, why did he date you to begin with and stay with you for so long? I think he's using this as an excuse. If it's true, he's letting his parents make the decisions of who his lifetime partner will be. You need an adult companion who makes his own decisions. He is using you and preventing you from moving on. I would probably guess that one year will come and go and then he'll come up with a new lie about how he has to stay longer. I agree with the others, that you should give him one month to move out. If you think he will ignore your wishes, ask family members to meet with you and him and explain how he needs to move out. Remember that you are always in control of your own life. Don't let other people make decisions that aren't good for you. You have to look out for yourself and be in charge so people don't take advantage of you. Good luck.