Introducing new person into kids lives

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Introducing new person into kids lives
2
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 3:45pm

Hi all,

well my ex has went very fast with this and I was wondering how it went for your kids.  My ex just introduced them to her two weeks ago and then the very next time the boys are spending the night at their house.  Is this too soon?  I think so but I could be putting my feelings into it...any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

thanks,

b

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 4:14pm

Are your ex & the woman living together?  I think that he should have integrated her into the kids lives way before asking her to move in.  Yes, I think it's way too fast.  I dated my 2nd DH for 2 yrs before he moved in, but before that we were spending weekends together at alternate houses.  I remember dating him a couple of months and then meeting his DD at her BD party--she was having a sleep over and asked why I wasn't staying over.  I thought it was inappropriate esp. because of her friends being there too.  But I def. met her a few times before staying over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2000
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 7:42pm
I starting casually seeing someone, and after a month, my sons insisted I introduce him to them because they felt they needed to "check him out" and make sure he was good enough for me. We've been seeing each other for several months now, still nothing serious, cause I'm not ready for that, and he sees my younger DS every so often; if he comes over to watch movies or football, he always brings pizza and sodas for both of us and is sweet to my son, but moving in? No way. Since we work nights, there have been plenty of times he'll come hang out after work and we end up passing out, which my younger DS thinks is hysterical, and my older DS thinks is sweet, cause we're "old" and can't stay awake long enough to watch a movie after work. I'm not sure how they'd feel if it were serious, but I suspect they would be fine, so long as the guy wasn't a jerk. But, my ex and I were separated for over a year before the divorce, and my boys encouraged me to start dating, mostly because I think they were afraid I'd let my ex come back again if I didn't find someone I liked better. They even picked out my date outfit. It's very weird, but as long as they are ok, I guess we'll figure it out.