Is it coming? Divorce that is...
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| Sat, 11-04-2006 - 10:33am |
My husband and I have not had the perfect marriage by any means. We met in high school, dated for 4 yrs, married, 2 yrs later had a beautiful daughter and started a business. 2 years after that we filed bankruptcy, then a year after that he worked away from home for 15 months. When he was finally home and we were a family everything was perfect. So I thought...
One night while staying in a hotel after a friends wedding, he tells me that during our bankruptcy problems he had an affair with a family "friend." I was crushed, am crushed. It broke my heart and even more my trust more than I could have ever imagined. Thats a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Anyway we seemed to work through it. Trust being the hard one to rebuild. And honestly isn't there, and I don't know if I actually care anymore.
I love my husband and he loves me but I don't know if we are in love with each other anymore?
This past Thursday we had lunch together is a local resturant. We don't eat out much espeically not together (we live in rural area). All we talked about was not being together, and we were trying to find reason why we are together. Other than out daughter. We have different interest and different expecations out of life. And it not that they have changed since we met, but that now we want them. You know how in the 3rd or 4th grade you write the story, "What I want to be when I grow up." Well I'm I guess having a mid life crisis (31 yrs old) and I want to be that person.
My husband understands this, and I understand the part of me not fullfilling the part he wants. He wishes that I would do certain outdoor activities with him, we have our own business and he wishes I would work with him. That's just not who I am or want to be. I love certain outdoor activities with him, but his expectations are higher. (He like to hunt, fish camp out, be in the middle of nowhere-I like to hunt and fish for a couple hours and go home to a hot shower and meal) HE wants me to work on the job site with him. I do all the bookkkeeping, all the numbers are mine. He makes me nervous and then we fight if I am working with him. I don't like feeling like that, and he knows that he makes me nervous-its always been that way. I don't take yelling well. SOOOO....
here we sit, both wishing we were different people or with different people. Neither one of us had the "party" scene 20s or multiple partners/dating etc. So I guess curiosity is getting to us. I would do anything to save my marriage but I don't know where that spark is at, or how to find it again.
Recently he went out of town on a hunting trip and I had the most relaxing 10 days I can remember. I did all sorts of things for my husband while he was gone. But the quiet house and not answering to anyone but my daughter was well so nice.
Help me, help us.
Is divorce coming? Is it possible to be friends in the end?
Sorry so long.
Broken98

Hi,
Have you ever resolved your trust issue? did you go for counseling? What was his reason for cheating? Did he use protection?
I can tell you for me, once my husband cheated, I never felt the same. Even though i got past the cheated i questioned his every move. however, I also want you to know thay my husband verbally and emotionally abused me. i have experienced more than cheating.
Trust is important. Very important. Growing apart in a relationship happens when two people don't work on it. Maybe you should go to counseling or think about what it is that you loved about him. Does he make you feel good?
only you can answer your question. Be careful. The divorce process is nasty and the single life is not as great as it seems especially in the beginning.
Good luck
Hi Broken~
Ya know... when we're 18, we think we know it all and own the world.... at 23.... same thing.... 28... 30.... 35.... we realize that we're still learning and growing.
I don't know if you believe in astrology or not.... but occasionally, I visit a psychic.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~