Is it possible for HIM to....
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| Wed, 03-01-2006 - 4:03pm |
live happily ever after with the woman he had an affair with? My STBX had a seven month affair that I just found out about. He has been lying to her as well as me about everything, from our divorce (told her he filed MONTHS ago, he still hasn't filed, even told her we have been sleeping in seperate bedrooms since they have been together, my MIL who we lived with us said she knows that's not true and wouldn't lie to the GF if she asked her) and many more lies, all of which my STBX is trying to "patch things up her her" and the GF believes the pathological liar that my STBX is. Just like I did for the seven months I confronted him about cheating on me and he swore ON HIS FSMILY that he wasn't.
Not to mention the seemingly instability of the new GF who is 27, married and divorced twice, her father killed himslef and her mother is an alcoholic homeless person (this is all info I heard from the GF herself).
So, I ask myself: If there is a God, can he grant someone like that happiness? My therapist said he may (not be happy, but stay with her), that many people that have affairs stay with that person out of guilt. I know he is desperate right now, he's the type of man that can't be alone, wants someone to take care of him (althought he fed me a pile of s*** about "needing to be alone to grow up and take care of himself").
I'm trying to not obsess on it, I've taken steps to move on and NOT focus on him and her, but of coarse my heart is shattered.
Any feedback????

I'm a believer that if you don't right your wrongs.... you eventually pay for them in some form or fashion.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I was betrayed, now divorced. I too wondered if ex would live happily ever after with OW and now I could care less. It's taken me a year to get to this point and you will get there too. It takes time and the time varies from person to person. I agree with Karen's statement: "if you don't right your wrongs.... you eventually pay for them in some form or fashion." His day will come someday. Also, I learned from the Betrayed Spouses Board that only 3% of affairs end in long, happy lasting relationships.
Take care of yourself.
I think we might have been married to the same man. I have struggled with how my ex could still be with the OW, but the reality is, he left his wife and child for her and he will probably leave her at some point as well. They both left spouses for each other, and it seems to me that there is not really a chance in hell for the relationship to work for very long. I was watching Dr. Phil one day and he said that only one out of every one hundred relationships that start with an affair actually last. It gives me some comfort to know that he probably won't be the "one". My ex has no idea how to be alone and told me that this is how he needs to move on. Whatever, he won't be moving on with her for long. I just have to believe that karma will come and bite him in the butt some day.
For now, I focus on myself and my dd. I get to see her everyday and he only sees her once every three weeks. In the end, I have the better end of the bargain.