Is it possible or even right to remain best friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2012
Is it possible or even right to remain best friends?
14
Sun, 01-01-2012 - 3:58pm

I've just been told that, after seven years, my wife and best friend has fallen in love with another man.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

For now I don't think you should try to be friends and hang out esp. while she is w/ the other man and you don't have anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

In all honesty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Do you really think that her new love is going to be comfortable with her coming over to your house and hanging out on the couch for some "us time" ?
As far as her son goes, I think the staying in his life as an Uncle figure is a good idea since he already has a biological father who is very much in his life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2012

Thanks guys for reading and responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

You can remain friends with your ex but not now.. There sounds like there are too many unresolved issues and emotions.. I am sort of friends with my ex but it took 6 years to get there. Right now I still see myself as a big time codependent and that is probably why I considered being friends with mine..

You are sounding like a nice guy but bending over backwards and lowering yourself right now by wanting to be friends with your ex. She had an affair and she moved on to another man.. Doesnt that make you angry and sad and frustrated?? If it doesnt then you are not grieving

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Super,

Hi. I'm going to reply with one caveat right now: I'm setting aside the relationship with your stepson for the following answer. I'll come back to that in a minute....

For starters, I think you WIFE has a lot of gall to say to you "Oh, I found someone who trips my trigger and I want more than you. So....bye! And, oh, by the way, I still LIKE you and NEED you and WANT you in my life, but not just as my

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

I wouldn't suggest you limiting your interaction with your soon to be ex-wife out of respect for her new Boyfriend.

I suggest it, because it is just not a healthy dynamic.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2012

Thanks everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008

How old is she anyhow? I suspect that this little romance she has with mr. college boy may quickly burn itself out. Sure the newness, excitement, and passion of a new relationship are all very alluring (while they last.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I think that you will gradually create your own boundaries.

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