Is it so bad?...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is it so bad?...
10
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 12:46pm

The ex called. I had to e-mail him with the results of DS's most recent hospital stay because he never responded to the message I left the night we were there. When he called I'm sure he could tell that I was angry, but I was not yelling or rude. I just said, "Do you think it's appropriate for me to expect you to have your cell phone on when you've had a very sick child?". His response, "I didn't call to have this conversation.".
It makes me so mad! I told him that I thought he could at least answer if he thought if it was appropriate to have his phone on and he said yes it is the best thing to do. He then asked me what was wrong this last time and I told him. He went on to have a two minute conversation with DS. I'm so angry, he still lives in "Bill-land". At the end of our marriage I used to tell him he lived in his own world and everyone else lived in on earth, but he expected everyone to cater to him and understand his culture - lol. He's still there apparently.

Mel

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 2:11pm

"I didn't call to have this conversation."... I would be documenting things like this that he says, because if the time ever comes that he says you didn't tell him something, you'll have written notes about when you tried to call, what you said, date, time, etc... and if you talk to him, his response.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 4:05pm

I disagree with cl-wildlucky4me. Had my x said "Do you think it's appropriate for me to expect you to have your cell phone on when you've had a very sick child?" to me, I would have said something similar to what he did. It isn't your business whether he has his cell phone on him. If he wants to be a father, he will. If he doesn't want to, he won't. Perhaps if it had been rephrased to something like, "Since you didn't have your cell phone on you, I was unable to reach you when ds needed you." Nothing more needed to be said. It is not your place to question his actions now that you are divorced.

As for documenting for the reasons that cl-wildlucky4me gave, absolutely!! Just remember that when you document, you can hurt your case by your own words.

Photobucket

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 4:17pm

Oh, I wasn't implying that he should have his phone on.... and be attentive to answer it...


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 4:34pm

My wording to him has a lot to do with his attitude as a parent for the last 11 years and especially the lack of any involvement since he moved away nearly 15 months ago. Believe me, it was wayyyy toned down from what I wanted to say. I also have to respectfully disagree with you, I think it is my place to question his actions when it's in regard to our children. Maybe I didn't say it as kindly as you suggested, but he was spared from my rage, believe me. Please remember, this is a man who refused to work, told me he'd rather our family become homeless than take a job he didn't love, he left us twice and the final time told me he didn't want custody because he knew he was an irresponsible father. The real problem is that I seem to have a hard time remembering that he does not care and will most likely never care enough about his kids to do things like turn his cell phone on.

Melanie

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 4:55pm
And the hard part is that, technically, you're "obligated" (my court papers say that I am) to notify him of these type things.... a cold, not necessarily, but surgery.... definitely!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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Registered: 05-28-2006
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 9:18pm
And they're still going to stay with him this summer?
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 9:43pm
Yes, they are. What happened to the old "name" Prettyvegas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 8:23am
Nothing. I like switching names. A person has that choice when they sign up. I have, like, 10 or so.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 8:46am
No kidding Lisa.
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Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 9:14am
Proud of yourself? Not sure why it's a big deal what ID is used.