It still bothers me

Avatar for julie364
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
It still bothers me
7
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 6:35pm

My soon to be ex is visiting my son and his family. I am pretty sure the other woman is with him. They have only been there together once before. Strange and cruel as it was they called me the first time to let me know. Would not say anything just let me hear them with my grandson. I know I have to let stuff like that go but them just being there together upsets me. There is a part of me that wants to scream and cry because I wish it were my husband and I there. How do you work that out so it does not emotionally hurt you? I feel like I am holding the feelings in too much.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 7:00pm

Avatar for julie364
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 7:35pm
Thanks. I really do not want to make an issue of it but I feel like it will be something between us always. I do resent that. At the same time I am happy that my husband is with his son, as he should. I think I would like to see my children continue to not accept the OW. Because of all the cruelty involved. Ugly emails, ugly letters, telling me I did not deserve to be seen with H. I was not pretty enough or good enough. Thats only half of it . Of course she was insecure and immature . Just not comfortable with anyone supporting that behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 8:25am
BUT you don't want to put that on your son.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 9:20am

It can take time to let go, but know that whatever you are experiencing - you are doing so for a reason & it will make you better/stronger later. The fact is, we cannot control the actions/behavior of others - nor can we judge them, even though it takes restraint ;O


If he has chosen to be w/someone else etc., there's nothing you can do about it other than to try to move on w/your own life as well.


Good luck!


Laurel

Avatar for julie364
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 2:54pm
No I do not want to put this on my children. Thats exactly why I do not say anything. But you have to admit if one is being open and honest, seems that you need to share some of those feelings sometimes.
Avatar for julie364
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 3:08pm
Okay so maybe I am way too sensitive and part of this adaptation lies with my personality. Obviously I am a little slow at " letting go". I hate the part in the divorce papers that say "it will be like this relationship never existed"(legal terms/crap). So after 30 years CONVINCE me! I definitely look forward to having the divorce behind me but a few papers are only a few papers. I think I know what I am not implementing lately and that is my "don't take life so seriously attitude". Actually I am being a little insecure. Ow is insecure. Did my H hook up with someone like me??...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 3:08pm
Share here though...and share with a therapist.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again