Items don't return from ex's house
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-23-2006 - 10:05pm |
What would you do.....
My children go to my ex's for the summer. I had bought my son a brand new pair of Croc's (shoe's) the week before he left for his Dads. Well, he forgot the Crocs, so I mailed them to him at his dads and he received them. They did not return home at the end of the summer, so I emailed the ex and asked him to find them and mail them back to him. He responded and said "he did not bring them with him". I responded back and reminded him that I had mailed them to him, therefore, please find and return them. Well, he responded and this is what he said.....
<<<>>>>>
Huummm.
What do you think?
For the record he did by him two pairs of sneakers on a buy one get one free deal, however, the third pair my son paid for (age 9) my ex made the kid give him the money for them, so the three pairs of sneakers he is refering to, one of them was paid for by the child.
Edited 9/23/2006 10:17 pm ET by hbean

Smile,
Deirdre
The boy forgot to bring the shoes when he went to Dad's. Sounds like a pretty "normal" kid, sometimes forgetful, sometimes loses things. While at Dad's, the shoes the kid has forgotten before were forgotten again. It sounds like Dad doesn't know WHERE your son lost his shoes. Living without the crocs will be a natural (and healthy) consequence for your son's lack of care. If he gets tired of losing things, he will start being more careful.
We can't fix everything for our kids.
I ran into this with my STBX. I send 2 outfits to the daycare on Fridays that he picks him up for his weekends. I do not send good clothes either. If I care about it coming back, I do not send it. And most of the time, I tell the babysitter to leave the extra set of clothes at her house if she doesn't need to use them.
~gypsy~
my advice is not to turn this into a fight. your son, at 9 years, is old enuf to start to be responsibe for his "stuff". first he forgot to take his crocs and had you mail them to him. then he forgot/lost them at dad's house.
when my son was younger, we used to make lists to help him get organized. make a list of all the stuff that goes to your ex's house - and your son needs to help you pack. then, when its time for them to come home - your son needs to make sure that all the stuff that "went" - also goes back home to you. its good training for life - natural consequences and all that. what happens when you DS forgets his HW at home? or stuff at his friends' houses? and so on.
your ex says he doesn't have them - what can you do? don't turn this into a whole "you don't do enuf" "i do more than you" discussion because its going to get you nowhere fast.