Items don't return from ex's house

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Items don't return from ex's house
6
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 10:05pm

What would you do.....

My children go to my ex's for the summer. I had bought my son a brand new pair of Croc's (shoe's) the week before he left for his Dads. Well, he forgot the Crocs, so I mailed them to him at his dads and he received them. They did not return home at the end of the summer, so I emailed the ex and asked him to find them and mail them back to him. He responded and said "he did not bring them with him". I responded back and reminded him that I had mailed them to him, therefore, please find and return them. Well, he responded and this is what he said.....

<<<>>>>>

Huummm.

What do you think?

For the record he did by him two pairs of sneakers on a buy one get one free deal, however, the third pair my son paid for (age 9) my ex made the kid give him the money for them, so the three pairs of sneakers he is refering to, one of them was paid for by the child.




Edited 9/23/2006 10:17 pm ET by hbean
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 12:00pm
He's obviously being petty. I would keep the email. And if this continues bring it up to your lawyer.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 12:17pm
I know what you mean. My daughter has lost last year alone, a total of $286.34 worth of school clothing items. My child support is only $225 a month. Thats it. I got the same answer. Not the toys or fun things. School dress code items. When asked for their return I never got an answer. I am personally thinking of small claims. My advice to you is to forget about the shoes. From now on send one pair. Preferably old pair. somethat can be torn up or if lost its no big deal. Do not send anything new or "good". Resale shops sell some nice things for cheaper. Try going their for the clothes that you send. Do not be suprised if they come back stained or destroyed either. Your ex is just trying to get to you. Get to your pocket book because sending you child support money is starting to cramp his income. He is just mad and wants to take it out on you. good luck and take care. Try not to put the burden on your child. Just forget about it and chalk it up to a learning lesson. Hopefully things will turn around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 1:01pm

The boy forgot to bring the shoes when he went to Dad's. Sounds like a pretty "normal" kid, sometimes forgetful, sometimes loses things. While at Dad's, the shoes the kid has forgotten before were forgotten again. It sounds like Dad doesn't know WHERE your son lost his shoes. Living without the crocs will be a natural (and healthy) consequence for your son's lack of care. If he gets tired of losing things, he will start being more careful.

We can't fix everything for our kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 1:28pm
Send nothing from now on. My ex has the girls EOW and I send nothing. They go with clothes on their back, which include shoes. They HAVE to come home with shoes this way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2006
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 12:36pm

I ran into this with my STBX. I send 2 outfits to the daycare on Fridays that he picks him up for his weekends. I do not send good clothes either. If I care about it coming back, I do not send it. And most of the time, I tell the babysitter to leave the extra set of clothes at her house if she doesn't need to use them.

~gypsy~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 12:56pm

my advice is not to turn this into a fight. your son, at 9 years, is old enuf to start to be responsibe for his "stuff". first he forgot to take his crocs and had you mail them to him. then he forgot/lost them at dad's house.

when my son was younger, we used to make lists to help him get organized. make a list of all the stuff that goes to your ex's house - and your son needs to help you pack. then, when its time for them to come home - your son needs to make sure that all the stuff that "went" - also goes back home to you. its good training for life - natural consequences and all that. what happens when you DS forgets his HW at home? or stuff at his friends' houses? and so on.

your ex says he doesn't have them - what can you do? don't turn this into a whole "you don't do enuf" "i do more than you" discussion because its going to get you nowhere fast.