It's Even MORE Final........and Thanks
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| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 9:10am |
My attorney called this past Friday. The judgment agreed to by all parties but deferred for tax reasons was entered that day, and our divorce is now final.
Yesterday I was at the marital home, which under the terms will revert to me and I move back in this week. Helped daughter (age 20) pack car to move to a new state in anticipation of her marriage this spring. Same w/ ex who is moving with her to set up housekeeping and plan the wedding, and perhaps stay there herself.
I had intended to be there as they drove away, but ex asked me not to, she couldn't handle that. So said an emotional goodbye to daughter, then left. Today I start moving my stuff back in to a now-empty house. Pretty strange turn of events.
I am feeling a lot of emotions. Relief, mainly, I suppose. Anticipation of my new life as a single, and courage to face life alone. But there is a surprisingly hollow feeling to all of this, made more so because of my daughter's departure as well.
Many have advised me to lay low relationally, not be eager to get into a new relationship. I feel the need, certainly. But last nite I went out to a pub to hear a band and sat by myself. Many attractive women there, some seeming eager to be asked to dance and all that. But I realized I just felt better being by myself for the time, and realizing now that maybe that was a good thing.
I think this may indeed take a while. It's good to have friends to share it with. Many of you on this board have contributed thoughtful comments along the way as my story unfolded. I wanted to say thanks.
Rediscovering

That is difficult to have both losses at the same time ie your daughter leaving. I have been there.......and its hard.
I too have no real desire to get involved in a serious relationship for some time. We need to heal and spend time with ourselves. Sometimes I go to personals online and look but I am not ready that is a certainty. my divorce wont be final until the end of the month and even though its over I feel like being honorable and waiting anyway. I plan to get involved in my work and hobbies and I hope I handle things ok when that feeling of lonliness and abandonment sweep over me.
We will survive!