It's finally hit the fan! long
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| Mon, 03-05-2007 - 1:07pm |
Recently, I learned that X's skank GF has been sending DS's GF harassing emails and has been harassing her on the phone (she actually used X's cell phone to make the call/s). DS's GF is like a daughter to me, and she's a super kid. She's been confiding in me about the email/GF situation, and is very upset with my X, and the way X treats both DSs. Anyway, yesterday, DS came to me (the one with the GF), and we had a heart to heart about the situation. I played dumb about the email at first, and just let him talk-- he isn't one for talking, but I sensed that he needed to just be heard, so I listened, and when the time was right, I told him that his GF had mentioned a few things.
One of the harassing emails was about the fact that Rebecca went to FL for a month for school, and sent everyone-- me, my 10 year old, my 19 year old, and X-- postcards while she was there. Well, Carrie found out that X got a postcard, and her nose is out of joint. Evidently, she is insecure, and thinks Rebecca is trying to seduce X by sending him a postcard. Yeesh. I guess Carrie doesn't know that X was getting a little chummy towards Rebecca (Rebecca's mom and I discussed this-- she was worried), AND X was hitting on a very young girl a couple of summers ago, and she reported him to the cops.
DS is super-upset with his dad for allowing GF to move in, let her kids run wild at X's place (he lives in an apartment in the garage at his business), and now the harassment of DS's GF. The poor kid tried talking with his dad, but apparently, that fell on deaf ears. DS told me that his father said he was "happy, and GF's kids like me"; evidently, the fact that his OWN 2 kids are unhappy doesn't phase X in the least. DS said to me, "Dad has a new family. That woman (I thought it interesting that he wouldn't speak her NAME-- I had to frequently ask him if he was talking about Carrie, his dad's GF; or Rebecca, DS's GF) wants to go racing with dad-- that's what Tom & I do with dad. SHE isn't part of the circle. There's something wrong with her. Something's not right, there's a lot of little things..." DS feels that Carrie is a gold-digger, and is going to ruin his father financially (I've heard the same thing from different sources, including Rebecca, and my own observations). I told DS that he should listen to his gut, and that little things add up.
We got on the subject of X not spending time with my younger son, and he was furious about that, AND the fact that Carrie's kids torment my younger DS by telling him that they live with X now, and that they are at HIS place every day. DS is not there every day, and it is a very sore spot for him. I told DS about an "altercation" between Tom and one of Carrie's kids over February vacation, where one of her kids was teasing him incessantly-- her 2 sons ganged up on my DS, and he reacted by punching one of Carrie's kids. Older DS was shocked, and said, "Mom, Tom doesn't go around hitting people unless he's seriously provoked." I said, "Yeah, and I'm amazed that he has been doing as well as he has, considering how much he has had to endure with this situation." He'd had problems with stress-related fire-setting last year, and it was his way of acting out. I told older DS, "Your brother is coping remarkably well-- you remember what last year was like." Older DS was silent for a while, and I could see stuff sinking in finally.
I told DS that I've tried speaking with X about the situation, that X and I were pretty much at an impasse, and that his brother's counselor had tried to talk with X about DS feeling that X was ignoring him in favor of Carrie's kids. The counselor told me that X didn't see that it was a problem, because he (X) was happy. I asked DS if he'd spoken with his grandparents (X's parents) about any of this, and he said no, but that if his grandfather knew about it, he'd be furious. I told DS that I'd agonized for months about talking with my in-laws about it, and DS said, "I know, Ma-- you're in a horrible position. They should know about what Carrie is doing to dad, but at the same time, they don't need to have to worry about it."
So, this morning, I called my XMIL, and we had a little chat. She was extremely upset-- she told me that she told X that if he got involved with anyone and our kids were getting the shaft from him, he'd be out of their (MIL & FIL) lives. She told me that she and XFIL didn't like the fact that the new GF has 4 kids... I told her about the sleepovers with X, Carrie and my 10 year old in the same room... that I was not only worried for the kids' sakes, but that Rebecca saw Carrie on X's business computer, working on her MySpace page... the business computer has the storage customer information-- SS numbers, birthdates, addresses... and even easier to access are the hard copies of their credit card numbers, which are in a filing cabinet. I told her that older DS is worried about this, *I* am worried about it, AND now Carrie's MOTHER is getting involved in a bad way... Carrie lets her kids ride dirt bikes around the storage building. I remember when I owned the business with my X, we decided that any kids on the premises would have to be confined to their parents' cars, due to liability issues. I remember drawing up documents for the customers informing them of this. There are SIGNS at the building about this... well, X told the kids, no riding around the building, riding only on a certain section of the land, which is cordoned off from the storage building. Well, Carrie's mom told the kids, "No, you can ride wherever you want. He's not your dad, and can't tell you what to do." So now Carrie's 2 boys do whatever they want, and it's just an accident waiting to happen. XMIL wasn't happy about that either.
:shaking head in exasperation:
I know some of it isn't my business; but my sons are affected by this. Carrie wants some of the classic cars that X has. The cars were promised to my sons. Older DS knows this, and is ripping mad about it. If an accident happened to one of Carrie's kids, I'm sure she'd clean X out-- she may clean him out anyway. DS told me he was concerned that his dad and Carrie were going to get married, and then his dad would be in even deeper. I've tried talking to X, but as I said, he gets defensive, blames me, and nothing gets accomplished. Hopefully, calling my X-MIL will help. Even my mom is ready to come up and read X the riot act.
Rebecca called me this morning, and said, "You finally got through to Michael!" I said, "I don't think it was me-- I think it was you, AND him seeing what is going on."
Anyone have any thoughts or advice? Thanks in advance.
| Wed, 03-07-2007 - 3:09pm |
