It's Hitting Me Now

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
It's Hitting Me Now
9
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 4:13pm

Things are starting to move fast now and it's sinking in that 18 years of marriage and my family is over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 4:58pm

Take a deep breath and let it sink in. You can do this...you will find a way. The smoke is too think now but right now you are down but not over. Once you can breathe again carefully go over your financials...go from month to month and see if there are expensive that you can cut and sacrifice for now. If you can try to take off some time for work if u are working...like 2 days so you can regroup. But the best thing is to go over what you will be spending each day and month to month and if it doesnt add up take a breath and watch TV...take a shower, read a good book and come back to it b/c I promise you theres way. If you have a family who can help you out for a bit that might be good although I know it can be tough to ask.


You will be sick to ur stomach for a long time but I know from experience it gets better...keep us posted and god bless :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 5:28pm

you can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 5:51pm
Buckeye, believe in yourself. "Courage is going forward in the face of fear". You have already proved you have courage. You are not losing your family, you are re-defining your family. Try to remember the not-so-good times, you helped me to remember some of mine ;) You will be ok. You have gotten further than a lot of us posting here. Continue to be our inspiration!! And congrat's on getting the financing for the house :) Wow, I'm still waiting! Keep us posted. HUGS
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 7:27pm

Congrates on getting the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 8:19pm
Hi Buckeye, I feel for you Hun!! I just want to say I am most likely where you were a few short months ago, my H left for OW in Nov 07 after almost 27 years!! Hes still fence sitting and I have been trying to keep my options open, trying to get our family back together. Well its looking more like he is too deep into his "NEW" family that our family will never be whole again, Ive tried everything and I haven't reached him. I'M about done! I want out of this house and we have to be divorced to get my name of the mortgage. He has bought a Harley, hes living the good life...how can I ever forgive him?? Theres been too much hurt, too much pain I need to move on. But where I'M getting at is there unfortunately so many like us out there, and the majority of them I think get out and are much better for it. Just imagine your life without having to deal with the lies, deceitfulness, constant worry about if they will stray again...start thinking about all the positives your new life will have...when you get to missing him, think about all the things he used to do that would get on your nerves, think about the pain hes caused you because of his selfishness, think about all the negative qualities that you wont have to deal with. Thats what I'm trying to do and it seems to help. I'm going to get that separation paperwork filled out, start selling some furniture, stuff so I can get our joint bills paid off and move on. I have to stay in the house until next year, my daughter will graduate, then I can move closer to work and maybe I will breath a sigh of relieve, and be ready to start my new adventure! You think of your new life as an adventure...something to look forward too! IT will get better! Keep your chin up!! Stay focused on you!! GOD BLESS YOU!! Marylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 9:45pm
Hey Buckeye, you there?? I noticed you didn't respond to any of the posts and I'm worried about you, let us know what's up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 6:53am

Big hugs Buckeye! I can only imagine what you're feeling. I'm sure I'll be there soon enough. I gave my attorney the "kick it up a notch" email OK last night. It's summer vacation for me now and I want to get as much done related to the divorce now that I don't have to worry about lesson plans, teaching

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 7:39am

Thank you All for your support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 1:11pm

You definitely aren't a quitter if you have managed to hang in there w/ an alcoholic.