It's Over, So Why Am I Crying????

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
It's Over, So Why Am I Crying????
12
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:24am

Hi, All.

Well, Yesterday was the case managers conference. We were supposed to go in to sign the final settlement, which was pretty simple since we had already divided all the assets and liabilities without fighting at all (basically, I took what I wanted, he said ok). But, the 1st big surprise of the day was the case manager having us sign waivers so we didn't have to appear before the judge or wait the extra three months. We then waited for 15 minutes while the judge signed the papers. So that's it. I'm divorced. I wasn't prepared for that yesterday at all - I expected it to be final sometime in November or December. Exactly 20 months to the day after I was married, I'm divorced.

After leaving court, I drove to college to get a textbook for class next week. What I didn't know was that ex was also driving to the same college to meet someone in the same parking lot. He then proceeded to take this ***** and kiss her, then give me (and my mother) the finger. The kind of kiss that makes you want to vomit. And this girl was totally a skank (sorry if that's considered a swear word on here). I mean, missing two front teeth, stringy hair, huge boobs falling out of a spagetti strap tank top, the whole 9 yards of no class at all. Of course, he didn't even bother to dress up for court - he had jeans with a hole in the butt, a totally stretched out tshirt that was mine in high school, and sneakers that were falling apart. He couldn't even bother to shave. (For those of you who are wondering, I was in office clothing.)

I know some of you are going to say that he deserves her, and that I should just move on, that if he's acting like that already I should just look at how much higher my road is in life. I have learned from my mistakes, and I will NEVER settle again. NEVER. But my biggest problem right now is that I feel he had absolutely no respect for me, not even enough to let the ink dry on the final decree before showing me a PDA with another girl. I was up half the night crying. Not just for the fact that I'm the first daughter in the family to get divorced, but for the fact that I feel totally disrespected. I know that I probably shouldn't have expected that much from him, but last week, he told me we were still friends and that he still cared about me. What a sack of lies.

How should I be feeling? And how do I boost my self esteem since I can't rely on the fact that he has any respect for me. How do I move on, without digging myself a depression rut and getting stuck in there, just as I'm starting a really hard college semester? Oh, to make it worse, we go to the same college of 1500 students. And his new girlfriend goes there too.

Another question, I need some suggestions on how to deal with my father. Basically, he wants me to be jumping for joy that I'm no longer attached to the "fleabag tomcat" as he calls him. However, I'd prefer to wallow in my self-pity, eat brownies and ice cream, and just take a few days to get over this. Any ideas on what to tell him to get him to understand how I feel?

Thanks for any advice. Till someone can answer me, I'll be infront of the TV with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and watching It Could Happen To You.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:14pm

Do you think my neighbors would object to the 88 keys AND my singing along?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:35pm
Im sorry that you are going through a rough time, it will get better. We are all here for you if you need us!! Good Luck! BTW~ use whatever type of therapy works for you!! Ice Cream or Shopping..=)

Pages