I've got a place, uhaul & a court order

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
I've got a place, uhaul & a court order
11
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 1:03am
I am leaving! I rented a nice place (a culdesac with neighbor kids, and a mile from are our home) at first they wouldn't rent to me becuase they didn't think a court order was enough of a stable income. It has a backyard, a good school district and I think we will be happy there. I might even be able to take our family dog (a great dane - 135lbs). This is a huge plumet in my childrens standard of living, we own a 4900sq ft home w/pool, gated community and they go to private school - but the verbal abuse / emotional abuse will finally be over. My boys are so excited about leaving, they don't care that there room is about the size of my closet, they are just so happy that the fighting will be over. This weekend is it - I just have to wait until Monday. Wish me luck - he wants about 90% of the furniture, basically he is getting almost everything he wants. I just want him to stop saying crap to the boys. I am just grateful to have a roof over our head, and a little hope.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 8:29pm

Wow... that sounds so exciting.... good luck--let us know how the transition goes.


Hey... you'll have a lot more time on your hands with a smaller place to keep up with, and YES--you will all be happier without the stress of the abuse.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 11:00pm
I'm proud of you. You have courage, which is what I am looking for. I'm nervous about leaving the 5000 square foot house, with the pool & country club. I won't be able to afford as much on my own. Your words are encouraging for me. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:12am
No large home, no pool, no toys ... can replace a peaceful home. TRUST ME. I lived in a very abusive marraige & the stress on me & my little girl, of walking on eggshells & of defending myself day in & day out, takes SUCH a toll.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 10:58am

O,

First of all, good for you! I moved out on the 20th. I was having second thoughts, and lot of guilt all last week. Saturday night i was laying in bed crying. I left a huge beautiful home, in a gated community, on a golf course, unbelievable amenities. Its just stuff. I have slept all night for the past two nights. (in bed by 11 and not up until 7:00am) no more looking at the clock at 2am, 3 am, 4am, etc.......

This was the best decision i have ever made. And it will be yours too. I am proud of you for making a decision that will change your life and that of your childrens for the better.

Keep us posted.

Christine

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 1:16pm
I left my big house with "everything a woman could want" too and it was the best decision ever!! Things don't bring happiness!!
Was I scared? Heck yeah, but my kids and I are better than ever, closer and I am so flipping happy!! It's been 14 months now and it was the best decision I ever made!!
Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 9:16pm

Good for you ... "flipping happy" ... now *that* is happy! Can you tell me more of your story and how old your kids are and how they are doing?

I would love to be modestly happy after this nightmare (which is just beginning).

Please share your story!

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 10:31pm
I'm so glad to hear from the girls in this post that they are happy. I am in need of encouragment and having a hard time facing the fact that I must say goodbye to my dream house. Thank you for your comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 8:55am

I want to add that I was also a SAHM with the big, beautiful house and all to go with it, husband with the 6-figure salary, etc.

Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 11:00pm
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm moved in and honestly it was a true nightmare actually getting my things. I had to move everything in 3 hours with my STBX video tapping everything and calling the police. My husband was fighting over food, silk plants, and anything possible. I took about a quarter of our funiture and he is still mad. He has made it very clear he will do whatever it takes to hurt me. My kids seem very happy here (although we still don't have TV, and I just got internet today). My kids and I spent the weekend in a vacant house, and it was better then fighting and being afraid of what was going to come out of his mouth. I think we can be happy here, but I go to court on Monday. Even though my husband works out of town 3 week of of the month, and I have been the primary care giver for all of my kids life as a SAHM he is going to ask for a 730 and for full custody of our children. He has the kids this weekend (of course I have to bring them to him becuase he doesn't want to have to make the half a mile drive) and he is video tapping the custody exchange. I am still hopeful even though I know I have a long road to go - he will always try to hurt me if I don't comply to his demands. I just pray that some day my boys will know the truth and understand the right way to treat another person. Again thank you all and my prayers are with you as you go through your personal nightmares.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 11:33pm
Your boys will get it all figured out someday. My stbx just filed for divorce for the OW
The two children we had are a DD age 24 and a DS age 28..........they just had an hour long talk the other day about how they dad used me for a punching bag (emotional and verbal) ever since they could remember.
They do understand. Just try to encourage your sons to learn to respect and love women.
Hang in there it will be all right.

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