jealous husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
jealous husband
10
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 3:46pm
I've been married almost 20 years, have a son 13 and daughter 15, she has a steady boyfriend and when he is over, my husband tells me that I talk too much to him and I am too nicey nice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: im_ok2008
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 4:43pm

So your husband is actually jealous of a 15 yr old boy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
In reply to: im_ok2008
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 10:25pm
My daughters boyfriend is actually 17, it stinks that he actually feels threatened, he was also like that when my daughter had her 13 year old boy "friend" over a few years ago!! He feels as if I'm trying to satisfy her and make her happy, OMG, she enjoys being with her friends and boyfriend and I see nothing wrong with it as long as she is staying out of trouble and doing good in school and she is! I'd rather see them here at my house than out who knows where! Anyway, thanks for your input, I appreciate it, and the counseling sounds good to me, he has a lot of anger inside, but that is no excuse for the way he acts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: im_ok2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 12:14am

It sounds like he's "jealous" of anything that seems to make you happy and fulfilled..... have you ever heard the term narcissist???


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
In reply to: im_ok2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:28am
Oh wow, this might sound crazy, but I had to look in the dictionary for narcissist! That hit it right on the head! Sounds just like him! I never knew what that was! If I showed him the definition, he'd only deny it, so I'll suggest counseling for us and see how that goes and keep you posted on it! Thanks for all your help, it's great to finally have someone to talk to!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: im_ok2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:31am

Well of course he'd deny it....


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
In reply to: im_ok2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 11:15am
Ok, I'm at my wits end.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: im_ok2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 12:09pm

I hear ya.... he sounds like a narcissist... and that he's trying to control you by whatever means he can.


The next time he threatens suicide, simply tell him "well, that affects YOU, and if you do all I can do is call 911 and they will take you for an evaluation".


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: im_ok2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 1:50pm

At some point, you will finally be sick of this treatment and realize that you & your kids deserve better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
In reply to: im_ok2008
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 10:08am

That sounds exactly like him, when I use to have my previous job, he would say why are you wearing that, why are you putting so much makeup on, when it was the same as I always do, making me feel as if I was "prettying" myself up for work, ug....


I am still getting blamed for feeling sorry for, or talking too much to my daughter's BF, it's getting stupid, then my husband acts fine later, and I feel better, I feel like a yo-yo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: im_ok2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 5:30pm

MayI suggest that you get some therapy for yourself. It really helped me see the light. Also, my best friend (since high school days) said to me "We're 50 yrs old--do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?" and I really started to think about how I wanted the rest of my life to be, and it wasn't like that.

And as far as the kids, last night the 3 of us went to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Tomorrow my DD is going back to college. It was just a simple thing, but something we would never have done if DH was still here. it was a late movie, he probably would have found something to complain about, like why couldn't we go to an early movie, the kids wouldn't have wanted to go w/ him & I would have felt guilty about going w/o him. I do have those occasional thoughts about being alone when the kids are older, but I figure that I have enough time to make new friends before that happens. I also feel that being lonely isn't as stressful as being w/ someone who is always unhappy and yelling at people.