Job searching still.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Job searching still.
8
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:24am

I never knew it could possibly be so hard to find a job. I've had a handfull of interviews and applied to a dozen places. Today I am headed to the mall to see if any of the retail stores are hiring.

I remember the days when I use to be out of the house by 7am and not back home until after 7pm...my stbx is mad that I haven't gotten that job back. He doesn't think I'm trying hard enough. The truth is that I have been out of the loop so long that when i interviewed for the position I found out that I'm not qualified anymore because the positions responsibilities have grown and changed. Not to mention I'd be so sad to leave my dd at daycare that long! :(

When I was "happily" married I always thought it would be so easy to go back to work outside the home when I wanted...the truth is this is one of the hardest things about the divorce that I've had to do. Are there orginizations out there to help women find jobs? People that take in to condsideration what it takes to be a stay at home mom?

Have a great day everyone!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:43am
Don't have any suggestions but just want to say that I am in the same situation. I hope we both find something soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:25am
My stbx wife is in the same boat, but she hasn't started looking yet. We went through this last year before we decided to try again, and at that time she didn't seriously look for a job. If she really wants this divorce, which I know she does, why isn't she trying harder to get a job? I was kind of an a$$ about it last year, asking her about the job search all time time, telling her she really needs to get a job. This time I haven't said anything. We were hoping to have a lot of the details worked out before the new school year, but at this rate I can see this dragging on for a long time. She's been looking into trade schools and things like that, which could take a really long time to complete and get on your feet. Sorry for the rant, I'm getting frustrated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:44am

It's hard to find a job these days. I'm in the workplace and had to find another job just recently, and it's stressful, nevermind being out of the workforce and then trying to re-enter.
Have you thought about doing temporary work? Maybe heading off to a local temp agency will test you on your abilities, and give you jobs that will match your abilities. This may be good for you since you have the ability to accept jobs or decline them due to what kind of schedule you want. This way your daughter doesn't have to be in day care all that long..There are some good ones out there that will work for you, and not just make you a quota for their days work.
Have you contacted people in your network? Ya know, friends who have jobs, within their companies( i'm sure you already have, just brainstorming here)Their husbands, friends etc..even sometimes online friends will know of companies hiring.....

You may also try your local Welfare agency. (Not to imply that you are on welfare) but they are the first place to try who would most likely have the phone numbers and connections to where to find assistance.

I wish you the BEST of luck in trying to find a job that will fit your needs...

I hope I helped some
Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 11:40am

Check in with the local Chamber of Commerce.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 1:06pm

I can only imagine how hard it is. If I lost my job tomorrow and had to look for a new one, I'd be very nervous!


The suggestion about a temp agency is a good one. When I was laid off when my son was little, I went through a temp agengy. They ended up placing me in a company that eventually hired me, and I spent several years there. It can also be a good way to get exposure at a variety of companies.


As for retail....it would probably be very hard to find a retail job that would fit around your dd's daycare hours, so keep that in mind.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 4:36pm
I've read a couple of your posts and you said that you were a bit of an a-- in your marriage and that although your wife wasn't completely innocent, you felt you were the one to push the marriage to the point of no return. If that is the case, your wife might be having a hard time dealing with the fact that her world is changing. Even though she wants the divorce based on her experience in the marriage thus far, that doesn't mean she WANTS a divorce. I don't want a divorce. I didn't want my kids to be from a divorced home. Still, even if my stbx comes to me and says he wants to reconcile, I don't think I can. It isn't because I WANT a divorce. It's because I have no faith that he can change and be a better person. So, your wife may still be mourning the life she planned on. It's really hard for a stay at home mom to just suddenly change. Plus, we have to thnk about before and after care, what kind of job will allow us to be there when the kids are sick etc. In general, you guys just go to work with no thoughts about this stuff. Divorce is usually harder on the woman because the woman's life usually changes the most. You will keep your job, will probaly get MORE quality time with the kids and will most likely have an easier time in the dating arena because you won't have your kids as much. Her daily life will change drastically. She will see her kids less. She will have a difficult time dating because she will first have to find a guy that doesn't mind if she has kids (not easy) and for the safety of the kids, will have to scrutinize the heck out of him. This isn't to say that your life will be easystreet and hers awful. It's just at the beginning of a divorce, this is what we women are staring at and it can be crippling. I am sure it sounds like I am bashing you but I am not. I actually admire the post in which you owed up to your part in this. Not too many guys do that. I just wanted to give you a bit of perspective on what *could* be going on with your wife. Anyway, hope this helps a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 4:46pm

I hear you! Tomorrow is my last day at my current job and it's scaring the hell out of me. I've yet to find another job and what I really want to do is crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head and hide.

What I will likely do instead is continue applying for jobs and learn not to let my ego get too bruised as I receive rejection letters. I'm not meaning this to sound pathetic, it's just my confidence is a bit on the low side right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 6:31pm

I don’t think you’re bashing me at all, and I’ve only scratched the service regarding our circumstances. I was more than a bit of an a$$. I was a huge a$$, and she is definitely in mourning for the life we could have had. She has a great home, great kids, lots of friends, great neighborhood, and a husband with issues! Even though I have changed dramatically from what I was a few years ago I haven’t really taken the steps to change. I keep saying I am or I will, but I haven’t. I guess some of us wait to hit rock bottom before making the change (at least I hope this is rock bottom ) I know that she has felt that divorce was inevitable for a long time now, but it wasn’t real until very recently.

I think you’re right on with your assessment of divorce in general and the life style changes for men and women. Luckily, I have a job that’s very flexible, so I can be there for my kids, and help her out. Of course all this depends on my frame of mind and my ability to heal the cr@p that got me here in the first place. I think I can I think I can…

Thanks for you perspective