Joining you all .. still in shock

Avatar for nerlami
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Joining you all .. still in shock
3
Sun, 11-11-2007 - 8:03am

Hi all,


My name is Tiffany and I am sooo sad to have to be joining you, but so glad to have found somewhere to go to for support and understanding.

 

"I've learned
that it is the weak who are cruel,
and that gentleness is to be expected
only from the strong."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Sun, 11-11-2007 - 10:50am

Tiffany,


First of all, a big hug to you. Cry, get it out and then you need to start looking out for yourself.


You need an attorney, don't just let him do all the paperwork. You should still be able to access the military family support center and they can assist you. (I'm a navy spouse) Ours has a mediator who works with divorce and they can give you info and advice that wouldn't be a conflict of interest. Also, if you are the first one to go to the military legal office they can represent you and not your husband.


Issues like being able to move home should be part of the settlement, he can't leave you high and dry. He may be the active duty member, but there are rules in place to prevent him from just leaving you to fend for yourself. Depending on how long you were married and how much that overlaps his time in service, you could still have benefits, don't take him at his word that you'll get nothing. Do your homework.


Take a deep breath, break this down into chunks you can manage and keep coming back here for support.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 4:54pm
Hi there... come on in... we're here to listen or lend a shoulder any time.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:58pm

Hi Tiffany...


I am a lurker around here, but my situation was very similar to yours back in 2000.