Joint Psyc meeting was tonite, AAARGH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Joint Psyc meeting was tonite, AAARGH!
9
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 6:56pm

I am WIPED. He is EXHAUSTING. I swear, I cannot fathom if he is just plain old crazy, if he is sociopathic & truly doesn’t believe anything he does/did &/or justifies it, or if he seriously has NO MEMORY or truly believes himself. Or the more likely scenario, he is just a liar. Thru & thru.


I will try to be brief. The doc began by saying to him "You look angry" & he said "Well, I am, very. She tool everything from me".


The gist of the meeting in X’s eyes apparently, was blaming me for leaving him "for no reason". For "taking his daughter away with no reason", for "taking his home & dogs away, with no reason". I replied with incidents that forced me to file for the restraining order to have him removed (3 yrs ago) - (jacking me 3 ft off the floor by my neck, against the wall - threatening to get the baby & dogs out & burn the house down with me in it - throwing a HUGE butcher knife on the counter near me during a fight & trying to make me pick it up "to get my fingerprints on it so he could call & tell them I tried to stab him" - & the last incident, of threatening (over the phone) that if I ever stepped foot back in the house, he would rip me to pieces, tear me to shreds, etc). He was APPALLED I would "make those things up". I swear, he is SO believable if you didn’t know him - he seemed SO flabbergasted that I would "lie like that" & "make things up like that". More than once he insisted I was sick & needed help. The doc asked him if he was drinking some of those times - AND pointed out maybe he DID do those things, but blacked them out. He caught X is SO many questionable issues. Eg: X admitted to blacking out, then said he remembered every single incident. X also blatantly lied that he never refused the visit last week when offered, & said that my email probably was so "mean" he didn’t read it. The doc confronted him & said "I have copies of it all, & she was completely appropriate, yet you refused AND told her to contact your atty." He said "Oh, well, I never read her emails anyway". Duh.


So, the doc guides him back to the issue at hand - Averey. Visitation. At 1st, he had X saying that he would commit to being a father, & would take her all my work nites (2-3 a week overnite). Which my stomach turned at ... but I knew it want anything written in stone. I think he was just feeling him out. So then as we got into heated discussion about "my lies" about all the things he has said & done to & in front of Averey, that he vehemently denies, the REASONS I stopped visitation - he started blatantly lying about things, such as, "My daughter does call me, but has to call from the closet b/c her mother forbids her to call". I tried to explain I never EVER have stopped her from calling, UNLESS he was out of control. He also said things about how he has found out "so many things about Rebecca since the divorce, she isn’t the person I thought she was". We talked a lot about how he wont call Averey, but yet blames her if she doesn’t call him. He said "She SHOULD be calling me, Im her father. & Im not calling that house, MY old house".


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 7:33am

Honey, all I can do is send you a big hug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 8:13am

I haven't posted in a while, but Lord have MERCY, that man hung himself out to dry during that session! Ever single thing he said is the hallmark of a person who is very angry, obviously completely and totally unwilling to coparent, and clearly pretty darn ill. The fact that he just can NOT comprehend that he is punishing and hurting Averey because of the perceived "wrongs" he has allegedly experienced is...well, again, SICK!! Even if you did lie about everything, and made him look bad because you "know the system" (I know this didn't happen at all!), why does he have to punish your daughter for it by being mean to her and saying cruel and abusive things?


He has shown the psych through his contradictions and demeanor that he is obviously an unreasonable, ill man. I applaud you for having the courage to sit in the same room as this man without an entourage of security! Let us know what the psych has to say about his behavior during the session!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 8:46am

I'm with Mel.


*huge hugs*


~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 6:53pm

Joining Mel and Calla in sending lots of hugs your way... I'm just speechless but so sorry for you and Averey...


*hugs*




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 10:53pm

Thank GOD you know what crazy looks like!!!!


I think there's no chance you're going to get any grief from anyone for not letting Averey see him until he does months and months of work... which, unfortunately, I doubt he'll do.


HUGS!!!!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 9:42am

Hey there,


This guy sounds like my ex-wife.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 2:33pm

Sounds like he may not be so believable after all! Looks like given enough rope, he discredits himself. I understand your frustration; during previous counseling in an attempt to salvage our marriage, my STBX sat and lied so amazingly well that the therapist was disgusted with ME. I could not believe he was making

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 3:16pm

He's freaking out because he is no longer in control. He wants to see Avery on HIS schedule, not one that has been agreed upon. He's angry because you ended the marriage. You got to make these decisions. I think this session went very well from your perspective. He showed himself very clearly to the doc. Much better than if he had been all sweet and reasonable.


I'm not a big gun fan, but someother self defense tool might be a good idea. Have you ever taken self defense classes? Pepper spray, maybe?

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Cat

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Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 9:25pm
I would be too scared to have a gun.

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