Just feeling rejected

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Just feeling rejected
2
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 9:41pm

I'm so sad right now. My husband is moving out. He got an efficiency apt and is moving stuff over there as I write this. I haven't even seen the place. Just know where it is only because I looked up the address of the complex. He is taking the bare necessities and it's going to be depressing and empty so what will motivate him to go home at night if there is nothing to go home to? This leads me to believe there is someone else or that he's looking. I mean if I had nothing nice to go home to, I'd stay out. He can. He makes tons of cash, his living expenses are cheap, and I have the kids. I am at the house, which he has to pay for since I cannot afford it. He says he wants me to have the house. I am not sure what I am going to do. I am so scared. This is my second marriage.

I am afraid that no one will ever love me because I am twice split up with 2 kids. Who will ever fall for that? I feel so unloved and rejected. He yells at me. He ignores me. Has for a long time yet I stayed and loved him so much. And he blames me for all of it. My first husband cheated. I am insecure. So? Why couldn't he have helped me through that? Instead he used it against me. Now he's leaving and I have no one here. I can't go home to my parents. I did that last time and I never got to be independent. I met my now husband at a vulnerable time and I married him too soon. Now look at me. I have lost someone else.

Someone I lived for.

~Melissa~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 11:06pm

HUGS, Melissa! I can only imagine what you're going through. I am remarried and know it would devastate me if the same thing happened. I, too, have problems with insecurity and self-esteem, largely because of my first marriage.

I know you love your H. I can read it in your posts. But you survived a divorce once, and I'll bet you never thought you could make it after that. But you did, and no matter what, you will be OK again. Have you thought about or been to counseling? I have found it a godsend. As a matter of fact, I'm planning on going back soon to work on my insecurity and self-esteem issues. If you can go, even if it's by yourself, I would recommend it.

I wish I had more advice or words of wisdom for you! Make sure you take the next few days to care for yourself. Make yourself the #1 priority. I'm sorry this is happening to you. If you lived in CT, we could go out and grab a martini ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 8:59am
I am going to counseling. I began last week. He has agreed to go to my next session. It's scary I want to know if things will work out or if we are just not meant to be. I feel him with me sometimes and other times, I cannot feel him at all. I am constantly tired because I don't sleep well. We used to look at ewach other with so much love, but now, we look right thru each other. Maybe it isn't love anymore. Maybe the fight is just over, but I cannot make myself give up. I just see a future.

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