Just got some disconcerting news (m)
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| Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:56am |
& it SHOULDNT bother me, b/c i have been ASSURED my atty is WAY better ... & tougher, but i just made a call & now i am nervous!
I called the Womens Resource Center b/c there was some important mail here for STBX. I put that all in a bag, along with some pictures dd has been drawing for her Dad, & some print outs of how to deal with divorce & chidren. Slap me now. The artwork from dd just b/c she asks to draw him things & wants Uncle Eddie to give them to him. & the divorce/kids stuff print outs, b/c i know he wouldnt even think to get access to that ... & if he is going to have any visitation at any point, i want him to have some clue how to handle the questions.
So ... my BIL just called & said "He is being a PIA. He wont pick up the stuff, he says his atty said it can be considered 3rd party contact & it should be dropped off at his own attys office". So i got nervous & called the Womens Resource Center. They told me that i am NOT breaking the order by sending any of that stuff, technically, HE cant contact ME ... but ... she said his atty is known to be VERY VERY hard on women & these type of situations. She said his atty twists things around, & will absolutely try to make it look like i am throwing stuff in his face, that how bad of a father could he be if i am letting her send him drawings & stuff, AND, that how really scared am *I* of him, to be sending stuff like that. My atty said he was "feisty but reasonable", but boy, the women from teh Womens Resource Center didnt seem to think that. & she siad "Since he has him, I am *SO* glad you have who you have for an atty, b/c you will need that, b/c this may get very ugly".
Yikes!
So i called BIL & told him i needed the bag back to get some things i dont need to send. Maybe i will get it back, maybe i wont. Either way, she said its not like i will get in trouble, it will maybe just give them some things to hassell us about. She assured me the judge wouldnt hold any of it against me, but STBX's atty would do all he can to try to make me look bad or not in fear of him, b/c of it.
Monday should be VERY intersting in court ... 1st time i see him in more than 4 weeks ... & its the hearing for the RO, where we keep it on me & ask for supervised visitation for dd, & its also the temp divorce hearing orders.
I am awaiting to hear back from my atty about my continuing to pay HIS bills, out of the goodness of my heart, till he gets on his feet financially, since he cant pay ANY right now. But i tell you, if as of Monday he plays hardball ... i am not paying one more red cent towards HIS stuff! (i am trying to make sure it is all reimbursable at settlement though, almost like a loan)
Also, i am sure they are going to try to make him look as pathetic as possible, having no where to live ... & as GOOD as possible, since i hear he is seeing his psychiatrist once a week & was begun on Lithium. & that he is in anger mangt. WAY too little, WAY too late.
Of course, *I* also have heard he was seen in at least 2 bars, around midnite ... so you cant tell me he was there having dinner!
R~


"its not like i will get in trouble, it will maybe just give them some things to hassell us about. She assured me the judge wouldnt hold any of it against me, but STBX's atty would do all he can to try to make me look bad"
Remember, that no matter how hard the other attorney tries to make something out of it, the Judge is sitting up there as bored as he can be, wishing idiots would not waste his time! Judges have to hear people slinging mud at each other all day. It's tedious, it's degrading, I have heard (and I cannot imagine that it's untrue) that after a few years on the bench, they stop listening to all that and just let it flow in one ear and out the other. I would do the same, wouldn't you?
I think that the bigger picture will be looked at.... but I have heard that RO's go both ways.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~