Just need some advice~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Just need some advice~~
1
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 9:36am

Ok, well...I haven't been around for a while...and mostly lurked when I was here...but I have some questions, and this board was the first place I thought of...So here goes... I'll give a little background first...I was married for 11 years...left my ex last August, D was finalized in December...Part of the problem with my marriage is that my ex would come home and spend all of his time with our children (dd 8, ds 6) and I could never get him to spend any time with me...well...until January, he was the same...really wanting to spend time with the kids...then he met a lady in the Philippines...and now he is marrying her next month...but since then he has had the kids for about 4 days a month (down from close to 12)...but last night when I was talking to my daughter on IM, at 7:00 pm...she said her dad was asleep...this isn't the first time this has happened...he often falls asleep when he has them...she just fends for herself when she is there...and helps out her brother...but...when do you know what to make a big deal out of, and when do you just let it slide...I had to have a conversation with him a while ago because on a sunday afternoon...my daughter was IMing me and there was no food in the house and her dad was sleeping...I told him that if I ever heard of him not having the basic necessities of food, shelter, and clothing that I would not let the kids come back...because it was neglect...and since then he's always had stuff for them to eat...but I'm just not sure what to do...for the little time that he has with the kids now...how can he spend it sleeping??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:17pm

Hi SanDee.... good to see ya again!


That's a tough spot.... and you could open a real lion's den if you talk to him about it.... so I probably wouldn't (however, print those IM's just in case you ever need them!).


I'm wondering... is he dozing on the couch watching TV... or is he all PJ'd up snugged in the bed with the lights out?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~