just need some words of encouragement...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
just need some words of encouragement...
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 6:06pm
im a strong person by nature but somedays im not so strong. My husband of 33 yrs has left for a woman 23 yr old,hes 55, and i know all she wants is her pills and to escape from her abusive husband. weve gone back and forth this past yr with me keep giving him chances and he kept seeing her...pretty sure hes still seeing her still and this time i need it to be over. i filed the papers last week for missing spouse itll be done soon. all my family and all his family are on my side but that doesnt make it any diferent. im tired of being hurt. i never thought id be divorced. we were a new wave couple him a biker me a tattoo artist. we had an open marriage and i took it further than he did and had an affair 25 yrs ago. ive been faithful for 25 yrs now and i guess i thought he got over it but i guess it hurt deep and this is my payback im not blameless i know but i really thought wed gotten past all that. the kids are grown and gone even moved back in with kids and still gone again i thought this would be the time of our lives...i got sick, real sick and the meds made me sicker but after a year all the numbers were down to 0. it saved me...but in the course of the recovery my husband got addicted to roxies (drs script) lost 160 lbs and found a 2 yr old girlfriend. is this some kind of sick tradeoff of fate? Did I get my future or get robbed of it. Now I have to reevaluate every dream ive ever had. all of them invoved a man no longer here. And do I even want a future with him anyway? Hes on diferent meds now but still addicted to morphine as well as others. Hes a broken man who has a difficut time getting past HIS pain to see anything in others even his own family. Ive got to be done this time or i wont respect myself. i tell my self theres more fish in the sea and soothe myself by looking at dating websites but even when i have the courage to go out alone i cant seem to make that next step to connect with anyone else. i just need to know it gets better. that ill enjoy living alone and i wont got without companionship in the end...
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:03pm

Hi Crystal,

It sounds like a lot is happening and the fact your husband has left is just the latest crisis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 1:37pm

well said, Wisdom, I eally can;t add to that great advice

But I can say, life after divorce can be fantastic! I don;t think anyone needs to stay in an unhappy marriage. No one can promise you the future will be better, or that there will be another man,