Just need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Just need to vent
6
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 3:27pm
First off i got married really young i was 16 almost 17 and now i'm 19. Hubby and i have had our problems like everyone but this last year has been so hard for us. But last week he left to go be with his family and i was suppose to go down in a couple weeks but the other day he calls me up and tells me he wants a divorce when i thought everything was getting better it was a shock i started crying like crazy and for some reason everyone in my family expected me to be okay with it but i feel like my world is ending right now and i dont know if i can do this. I guess the one good thing about this is that we are still going to be friends we dont want things to get messy. I just feel like i'm dieing on the inside and i wish this pain would go away. I feel like this pain will never end. I just needed to let some of it out cause i cant do it with anyone in my family. thanks for listening
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 5:50pm

I know the feeling. It totally sucks. Just remember it WILL get better for you eventually. Maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe 2 years.... but at some point, you'll look back on this time and say "Wow that SUCKED, but I'm better now." Just knowing that day will come calms me down a little somtimes.

Are you seeing a therapist? I am and it really helps. Good luck. Email me anytime. gewdtimes@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 10:00pm
Ah Mandy, I've been where you are at and still go there occasionally. You are strong enough. You will find strength you never thought you had. It does get easier. I know that's hard to believe, but I am telling you it is true. It has only been 5 months since my ex threw me out of my own house and took our children. I thought I was going to die. It's not easy, even now, by any means, but it is easier. The ladies here have helped me more than I could have ever believe. I knew I wasn't alone no matter how lonely I felt. Come here vent, scream, cry, and cheer. It really helps.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 1:28am
thank you so for for the replies its good to hear that i'm not alone. i'm happy to know that i have somewhere to go when i need to talk. Brenda i'm sorry to hear about your kids i hope things get lots better for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 4:39pm

"I guess the one good thing about this is that we are still going to be friends we dont want things to get messy."

So sorry you have been tossed into the long, dark tunnel. Know that there is a bright new day at the other end. Don't worry yet (not for a LONG time) about being friends. First you have to learn to let go, then work through your anger at this betrayal, then find your happy new life. It could be many years before any attempts to be "friendly" will do anything but hurt you. I like to say you can act friendly-like. You can be polite, civil. But don't get all confused and tangled up in trying to act like a friend. You have to take care of YOU now, and forget him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 12:07pm

mandy, I am really sorry you are going through this. I am at the beggining of my divorce, too (this is the 2nd time I have filed, but I am going through with it this time!), and I feel absolutely horrible. My STBX were separated 2.5 years ago. During that time, I found a wonderful message board where other women were going through the same things. Many of those women from 2.5 years ago have gone on to have wonderful relationships, and several have gotten married. I know it seems bleak right now, but things will get better. It takes time, and the process is painful.

Also, don't let anyone say, "Oh, you're 19...you're young, you'll get over it...." It still terribly painful, no matter what your age. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 5:00am
thank you so much for the reply and i do hear ppl say that since i'm so young that i'll get over it and all that and right now i really just feel like i'm not going to be happy again :( but i'm trying to be positve about it. i'm really sorry to hear that your going through this too :( at least we have all these wonderful ppl here to help us through this terrible time in our lives so we r not going through this totally alone. :)