Just starting the divorce
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Just starting the divorce
| Sat, 07-29-2006 - 11:15pm |
Hi, After 8 years of marriage my husband and I have decided to get divorced. It has been coming for at least 7 years. We have gone through so much together, he has 2 kids from his first marriage that I supported them all these years. He had 3 surgeries and didn't work for years. Then I was diagnosed with cancer and went through 2 years of chemo and worked the whole time. Now he is on disability. I really wish things were different but he hasn't been a good husband at all. I plan to "buy" him out of the house by borrowing $, and we see the mediator this week, but I am so scared and stressed out. I know it is the right decision, he just hasn't been there for me and emotionally hurt me for so many years, but it is still so scary. I don't know what to expect. I am sick all the time, can't eat or sleep which I know is not good given my medical history. Any words of encouragement will be greatly appreciated. I think we can do this without fighting but....who knows. Thanks!

hugs...
i am sorry for your pain. you need to take care of yourself - i know that the money is important, but your health and sanity are more important than anything. your husband is going to play dirty - so you need to be prepared.
let us know how the mediation went
I too have had to support my husband through most of our marriage and through his illnesses while he does little in return and is ungrateful for what I've done. I know how you must feel. At least you've realized this at 7 wasted years, I've wasted 14 hoping that he will change, that my prayers will be answered and a miracle will happen. But it hasn't and it won't because he doesn't think he needs to change anything and that I'm always at fault.
Don't waste anymore time on him - follow through with your plans. But don't stress over things you can't do anything about. If you can't get the money back, move on; if you don't get what you want from the divorce, move on; when it's all over, move on! If you can fix something then fix it - if you can't, move on. Worry never helped anybody get anywhere but to an early grave. We all make it somehow. When life closes a door and the window is stuck - break the glass!!!!
n
Edited 7/31/2006 4:09 pm ET by kkda0402
Edited 7/31/2006 4:10 pm ET by kkda0402