Just Starting Process - Need Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Just Starting Process - Need Help
4
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 3:03pm

Hi,

I have a "consultation" with a divorce attorney next week. This has been a very difficult decision. I am looking for information - I have been married for 12 years, we have one child. I have been a stay at home mom for 6 years - worked prior to that, but don't have a formal degree. Live in Ohio, but I'm not from here - all of my family is away - although I wouldn't move. I don't know what my next step is or what this process will involve. Should I move out or him and how do you afford this? Do we have to legally file for seperation? Will I be given alimony or will I have to work (our daughter is young)? Do we sell the house? Cars? What about Pensions? 401k's? What do I need to be prepared for my consultation? How do I know if she is a good divorce lawyer? Any information or personal experience would be so helpful. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 6:23pm
Hi i am fairly new here also..i filed for D in sept...we still live in the same house as he refuses to leave and he is the one who cheated on me!! My attorney said NOT to move out of the marital home as this would look bad for me...since there is no violence i have chosen to stay..i also have one child..I am buying him out of the house when this is final..all attorneys are different..i had a referral from my sister in law who is also an attorney..ask around and im sure you will find someone who has gone thru this before and can refer you...good luck and keep posting!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 9:55pm

I remember this feeling when I just started out. It's hard for me to answer these quesstions because the law is different in each state.. I would interview 3 attorneys and ask for a free consultation. First you want to know if they will be handling the case personally or handing it to associates. You want them to tell you how it is, not what you want to hear. Find out upfront costs and how they bill. Be careful of phone time, they charge by 15 minute increments so 5 minutews will cost you 15. There are so many questions you need answered.

Please , remember to take deep breaths and I promise this will be just a crappy chapter in your life and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to go thru this process to get there but it will be alright.

The best thing I can tell you is to visit my web site http://todaysdivorcedwoman.com/ It will help you with your journey as well as my book Congratulations on Your Divorce, the road to finding your happily ever after.

I wish you well and would be happy to talk about other things, I just can't talk about the legal because each state is different. The book will help you manage your lawyer , check it out

Big Hug,
AMy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 10:41pm
You will get MANY of these ? answered at your atty consulation. I suggesst also that you read thru archives of this board & some of the others, including "Divorce & Money".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 11:49pm
Divorcenet.com and findlaw.com answered alot of my legal questions. I went for my "consultation" and we spent 5K on a divorce agreement and on the day we were to sign it and file it with the court (7/05) he decided he wanted an attorney. It is now october and he and his lawyer willnot agree to anything,custody, visitation, financial settlment, daycare. In the mean time, take him off of all of your bank accounts. Get copies of the mortgage balance and any home equity loans. Get titles to house and car. Do as much snooping and copying. Open all the mail yourself. Don't forget about insurance policies. I refinanced the house in my name and took out a home equity loan to pay the bills when the savings ran out. I also took him off my savings account. He moved out in August when I was 7 months pregnant and I still have no closure. Just hemming and hawing from his attorney.