Just an update...

Avatar for momtojoeybear
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Just an update...
17
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 10:53pm

Things here are well... here... there have been some wonderful moments and some truly horrid moments this past week...

The most magical moment of all was Monday night... Joey was an angel... he was a good listener... ate all his dinner... cleaned up his toys when we asked and went to bed easily... as I was tucking him into bed, I was thinking how amazingly peaceful that night had been... I can't remember the last time I had such a peaceful evening with Joey...

Joey has really been difficult lately too and that in itself has provided some of the lows... yesterday he refused to get dressed... I must have told him 30 times if I told him once... during this time he also had the gall to tell me that he only had to listen to his daddy and pawpaw, because they're boys and mommy and grammy are "just girls" so he doesn't have to listen to us (what the h-e-double hockey sticks?)... finally, I just gave up and said fine, you can go to school wearing the socks and jeans you have on... we got to the garage and it was chilly in there (low 50's yesterday morning) and he complained he was cold... I gave him a minute or so to be cold and then explained that was why I wanted him to get dressed in the first place... this morning was ~much~ easier, so hopefully that sunk in...

Last night was also hard because as soon as I left Joey's room after tucking him in, he started screaming and screamed for nearly an hour before I had had enough... then I did what I hate doing--calling xh... I was in my room, about 30 feet from Joey's room (total) and asked him if he heard anything... he asked why Joey was screaming and I told him he had been doing that for the past hour because I wasn't in there... they talked and xh managed to get him calmed down... which was good and bad...

Bad because I hate calling someone when Joey is out of control/won't listen to me... I know it undermines my authority, but Joey is one tough cookie. I am wondering if he, me or we need therapy/counseling, because truly the getting dressed thing pushed me over the edge... and I can't let him have that control over me... he cannot make or break my day like that...

I have purchased fabric to make an upholstered headboard, duvet cover and bed skirt... I fell in love with the fabric several weeks ago and went to the store last weekend to see that they had sold out of it... fortunatley, I found it at another branch and it was 50% off... I have picked paint colors out of the fabric to paint my room, the sink area of my bathroom (directly off my room) and the tub and toilet area of the bathroom that connects to my sink area and Joey's sink area... when I saw the fabric was sold out, I panicked a bit, since I had chosen paint colors... but it is all good now... fabric is in my closet, just waiting for me to have the time...

Another good thing... I found out my travel schedule for the pre-season... In the past, my travels have been limited to the SE and south central regions when there has been a lot of opportunity for travel, but this year the opportunities were limited and I truly didn't know if I would get to go... (4 possible trips with 10 people who are qualified to go, as opposed to 11 trips for 11 qualified people last year)... not only am I going to get to go, but I am getting my first choice... There has been a lot of confusion and restructuring going on at work and this really feels like a vote of confidence...

Anyway, that's the latest here... we've had somewhat of a rough week, but we have a good!playdate scheduled for Saturday and a hockey game on Sunday, so the weekend is looking

*hugs*

Julie & Joey

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Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 10:50pm

Taylor...

thank you for reminding me that it is just a phase... I need to remember that more and you're right, he will grow out of it (as he grows out of practically everything else)...

I am definitely looking to make my room more mine... it still has the same white walls and they are driving me nuts... but I need a warm weekend and a dry one at that, which seems to be harder to come by lately down here...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 11:34pm

Hey Julie!!

I have missed talking to you this past week while I have been so busy.

Oh I feel for you with Joey. My two youngest daughters have been difficult in this past week too. My 15 yr old in particular has been horrendous and has fought with me everynight. I ended up calling my husband everynight to let him know what was going on so she did not play us against each other. I hated doing it because I missed him so much this week, I actually broke down and told him, he was very cold about it. My own stupid mistake.

That is great news about work. Where are you choosing to go? How long do you have to be gone on your trips.

I am redoing my room also. It's the one thing I am fired up about. I found a site called bejane.com it tells you how to fix things around your house. And for me my husband never was around enough to fix any of our broken things so I am excited to start doing it myself.

Hope your weekend is well.

Tracy

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Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 10:37am
julie - i wanted to add one thing: you know, not *everything *is divorce-related. this is the tip i got from DS's day care center when I got divorced from his dad. sometimes, its just related to his age. sometimes he may have had a bad day, bad dream, whatever ---- but we just TEND to
Avatar for momtojoeybear
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 10:54pm

SK,

That is a great reminder and very appropriate as it is very easy to blame it all on the divorce. I also posted a similar post on the mommies board I post on and heard from many of the happily married moms (and one soon to be divorced mom) that they are going through similar things with their pumpkins...

Thank you though, as you are so right... it isn't all about the divorce...

*hugs*

Julie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 11:18pm

Hey Tracy...

It's good to hear from you too! We have had a very nice weekend... we went on a playdate yesterday with one of Joey's friends... her Mom and I met in child birth classes and then were in a new moms group and we get together every so often... the kids always play so well together... and then we had lunch at a restuarant that used to be an old train depot... Joey got to see four trains during our time at the playground and at the restaurant, which doesn't get much better.... We went out for pizza last night... so again, doesn't get too much better in his mind...

Today was a hockey game followed by some time at his Grammy & PaPaws... (some more of his favorite places to go and things to do)...poor thing is worn out and is almost snoring in bed right now... he is so cute!

My work trips will be to the Philly and Baltimore areas... I'll be gone for a week total... I've got some friends and family in the Baltimore area, so I'll extend my trip through the weekend.... Joey will stay here with Mom (which will keep him in his familiar environment) and maybe go to Grammy & PaPaw's for the weekend... to give my Mom a bit of a break...

My xh actually did really well with Joey whenever I called this week... he even called a couple of times himself, which is also very good... and he may be coming into town in the next several weeks to see Joey... details aren't nailed down yet, but it is possible that he'll have some time off and be able to come on back... Joey would stay at my xil's then, so they'd have maximum time together... it may be the week I'm gone or just slightly later... if it happens, I'll be thrilled for Joey...

I can say though that I've been in your shoes with calling my then stbx... I'd tell him I missed him (but he truly didn't care)... and its never easy to be ~there~... I can tell you that it does get a lot easier with time and even though that may not help you now (or this past week when you were there), keep in mind that it won't be like this forever...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:39pm

Wow what a weekend you had! Sounds like it was alot of fun. Your trips ought to be great if you have friends in Baltimore. I'm originally from Philly but I never get back unless it's for funnerals, it's just too expensive.

Thanks for reminding me this will pass, ~Sigh~ I wish it would just happen.

Glad you had such a nice weekend. Have a great week too.

Tracy

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:57pm

Hi Tracy...

Yeah, it was a fun one... this upcoming weekend, if the rain stays away, is the Braves FanFest, which is something that Joey, my 4 year old sports NUT, loved two years ago, the last time they hosted it... admission is free and they can run the bases and its amazing... so if the rain holds off, I'm hoping it will be a great day.

I really try to keep my weekends busy... there are days when I just need to rest, but I try to give Joey all of the experiences he can have, living in a major metropolitan area, etc... It's fun and there's nothing like the joy in his eyes when he is doing something he loves...

I am hoping this week goes smoothly as well... I have off on Wed (is my every other Wed off, while it lasts--they're reviewing schedules and who knows what will happen)... but have no plans... we'll just see how I feel when I wake up... otherwise it should be a good week... just have to get some stuff arranged for my upcoming trip...

*hugs*

Julie

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