Just venting!
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| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 8:47am |
Ok, so, I always manage to feel bad for my STBX because he's hurting, although I still don't think he has any clue as to why I left, even after I couldn't have made it more clear. Anyway, the other week I registered my car for MD, and got new tags. I didn't have the tools to put my new plates on, so I figured I'd take advantage of my STBX's willingness to help out and have him put them on. So, of course he tried to make small talk, and it didn't work too well for him. He had the nerve to ask me, "So, do you want some lovin?", and then continued to talk about how even after all the turmoil he still hasn't lost his drive. And then he asked me to try out his new bed with him!!! Are guys really that dense????!! Anyway, I wasn't a happy camper and made it a point to leave as quickly as I could.
We have a little dog that we bounce back and forth each month, but fortunately for me, STBX had to go out of town for work for a few days, so I got to watch her. Anyway, I dropped her off yesterday. No big deal. Then, he had the nerve to call me a few hours later to ask me if I had taken the Resolve with me when I took her. I told him I did, but that I must have forgotten to put it with the rest of our little dog's stuff. So he proceeded to come down on me about this stupid bottle of Resolve, telling me that I should just drop that bottle off and buy my own! And the nerve! I had just bought her a new bag of dog food before I gave her back because I didn't want to give him an almost empty bag! (Plus I wasn't sure how long it would take him to actually buy her new food). But, I think a bag of dog food costs a heck of a lot more than a bottle of Resolve! Ugh! It's things like that, how he gets bent out of shape and comes down on me about stupid little things I do, all out of mistake or forgetfulness, which I sometimes think he thinks I do on purpose for whatever stupid reason, that helps me remember why I left him in the first place!
And I really hate how he's not giving me space at all. Every time I talk to him, he has to ask me what I've decided (whether I want a divorce or not, which I do, but I'm waiting to tell him after he gets rid of the car that's in both of our names, and until I'm considered a resident), but it hasn't even been a full month that I've been gone yet! Ugh! I really just can't wait until I don't have to deal with him anymore!
Anyway, I just had to vent. Sorry.

"...so I figured I'd take advantage of my STBX's willingness to help out and have him put them on."
This is a very revealing statement about your divorce and what may be at the root of it. Although his suggestion to have sex was misguided, I don't see much evidence that this man is inherently bad. Maybe petty, but not bad. Many marriages are destroyed when couples focus too much on the small stuff. I would say that a bottle of Resolve constitutes "small stuff". It may be helpful to go back and think of the arguments you have had with him over trivial things. That may give you some good insight as to why your marriage did not work out and help you if you ever get married again...