Just wanted to introduce myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Just wanted to introduce myself
6
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 6:48pm

Hi to everyone.

April 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 8:38pm

April

I saw your post and just had to reply! It's almost as if we are twins or something. I too have recently filed for divorce and am currently waiting out the 60 day waiting period (only 30 more to go!!). My STBX also had a problem with sex and cheated on me numerous times he is also currently "dating" a 18 yr old (he's 38). Like I said, I had to write, reading your post was like reading something I might have written! I too didn't like what I saw in the mirror anymore and decided that enough was enough, I deserved more. It was one of the hardest and yet best decisions of my life. I am so much happier and at peace since the split!

Erica :)

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:04pm

Welcome to the board... I'm glad that you've taken the time to introduce yourself... Your post really sounded upbeat and positive, even though we either have or are dealing with some difficult things here... Hopefully your positive energy will continue to pave the way for a positive co-parenting experience with your stbx.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 6:01am

April, welcome to the board!


It sounds like you finally reached the point where you said, "Enough!" Sometimes, it takes us a while to get there. Even though you know this is the right thing, it is still intensely painful and difficult. But like you said, you can not go on being devalued and disrespected.


We're here with you to ride the rollercoaster of divorce emotions....please post often!




How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 1:51pm
Thanks for the welcome.

April 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:19pm

Hi April-

Unfortunately, I know all too well where you are coming from. I was married for 15 years to a man who I believe had a sexual addition-8 affairs (that I know of), magazines, on-line porn, dating sites on-line, and strip clubs. My self-esteem also suffered terribly. I hated the person I became being married to him. But, a person can only take so many lies, empty promises, berating and belittling without it affecting them.

I finally decided enough is enough when I realized how it was affecting my children. I did not want either of them to believe his behavior was acceptable because I stayed with him. It was a difficult decision because he was all I had ever known, but I knew I deserved better-even if it meant raising my children alone. (And I only have 2-God bless you with 6 kids!)

I don’t know how old your children are or how much they know. My daughter (now 16) caught her father saying “I Love You” to his then current affair when she was 13. Of course he lied to her, telling her it was “a business I Love You”. (HAH!) She didn’t believe a word he said-and she told him so. My son (now 12) doesn’t want to believe what his father did. He denies his father did anything wrong. This hurts me, but I know he just doesn’t want to see his daddy that way.

Good luck to you. You will make it through this and be much happier on the other side. Your children deserve a mother who is happy.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 7:07pm
Welcome to the board, April.... glad you're here with us!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~