The kids are the ones who suffer - still
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| Sun, 08-27-2006 - 12:54pm |
Hi all again,
Don't know if you all remember me but I have to vent a bit and this is the best board I know of that will let me do just that.
So-I've been divorced officially 18 mos! To clairify we were married for 23+ yrs. Before it was official our nephew on his side was married and I attended the cermony only out of respect to his family and my sanity. His family loves to start trouble at weddings and funerals, family reunions, etc. That actually went well and any trouble was avoided. Now our niece, on his side again, is getting married next month. She has asked me to the wedding and as of yet I've only said again that I would attend the cermony. The niece said that was ok but that she would love to see me at the reception too. I told her I would think about it.
Well now I've heard through my dd that there was a big scene at a family gathering last weekend where my xh and his brother demanded that the bride un-invite me, or there would be big problems. The bride, a very determined young lady, pretty much told them to shove it and that it was her wedding and she would invite anyone she pleased. A girl after my heart! This distressed me greatly and now I'm no longer going to attend the ceromony either. I don't want to see her wedding spoiled because of others pettiness. Such a shame, that xh dosen't see what he's doing is again punishing the children. This time not only his own, but even his dear niece!
I don't know if you all remember that I had a graduation party for my ds in June and was the bigger man and invited all of those same hypocrites because they are my son's relatives after all. They all came, they ate all the food that I worked so hard at preparing and everyone actually behaved themselves! A first - let me assure you. A better definition of hypocrites never existed! Once again, I have to be the bigger man and back off from the invite to assure that my neice's day is as special as it should be.
This kind of behavior only assures me that my decision to leave that abusive, controlling life far behind was and is to this day the best decision I have ever made.
Thanks for letting me vent - again. Ladies - all of you out there going through a divorce from an abusive, controlling man hang in there - it is so worth it! No matter how long it takes to settle the divorce agreement, mine took 14 mos, you will be better off without the idiot!
e

I would take the dear neice and her hubby to be out for a nice dinner a week or so ahead of the wedding... and tell her that you can't wait to look over her wedding and honeymoon photos over lunch in a few more weeks.
Sure, it would be nice to attend the wedding, but the truth is, you wouldn't get much visit time with the bride and groom at the wedding, so planning a dinner event ahead of time gets you exclusive time to really visit with them and wish them well without having to worry if EX and crew will act like mature adults.... and, I think, that if you did this, EX would have no choice but to squirm with jealousy because YOU got to spend time with his neice... and he has no outlet (but himself) to make a fool of at the wedding now :-)
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~