Kids dealing with a "step"-family
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Kids dealing with a "step"-family
| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 4:28pm |
So...I have been divorced 2 years in August. The first year "(and a little) that we were divorced my ex was never around...he would steal an afternoon here and there even though he was supposed to have them every other weekend and on Thursdays. Fast forward to last August...he met a woman that lived in another state and had 3 kids by 2 different dads, she moves here in October and they are married in March of 2006. Now, understand this...I don't care because I am glad he is somebody else's problem but I take issue with the "other" kids. Since he has been with this girl he takes the kids when he is supposed to, which is GREAT!! I am glad their father is in their life now but it seems that she watches them all the time. Fine, I understand...well, then my kids come home talking about the "step-brothers and sister." They say the oldest, who is in 4th grade, is rude and tries to boss them around and yells back at thei daddy. My 5 year old and the 6yr. old boy kissed on the lips..UGH!!! But I guess that thing that bothers me the most is that he refers to these kids as "his" kids and that our 2 DD's can't play soccer on his weekends because it isn't fair to the other kids. So ...he told me in so many words that when it is his weekend they won't make the games because the other kids want to play and it isn't fair. WHAT THE HELL??? I even offered to pick them up and take them right back after the game. No go..... Then the first weekend in may my church was having a retreat and i asked (since it his weekend) if i could take them. He said NO..they were doing family things that weekend. Found out they didn't do anything. Then this weekend, which is my weekend, he called about 4 days in advance and asked if it would be ok to take the girls because his brother was getting married. Of course I won't say no because they need to be there. but i always feel like i make the sacrifices and that he doesn't think about "our" kids.....i could go on and on but i think i have taken up enough space....why do men have to be so selfish about this?


Actually,
I can understand wanting to have the kids on his weekend, and not wanting them to go off with you on a retreat. I don't mean he's RIGHT, but it's understandable.
I don't understand not wanting the kids to play sports, but perhaps I don't know the whole story.
Perhaps he's (rather awkwardly) trying to make the new family work. I hope he does -- it will be good for your children to have two stable, loving places where they feel they are at home.