kids meeting gf
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kids meeting gf
| Thu, 10-27-2005 - 3:04pm |
I really don't know how to deal with this..my stbx and I have been separated for 8 mos..he has been dating a woman 10 yrs younger for 6 mos..a definite ouch factor.
Yesterday I got a note from him when he dropped off the kids that he asked the kids if they wanted to meet his gf..they told him only if mommy doesnt get upset. :(
Since he & I dont really talk (he "shares" with me..wants me to be happy for him) I "gave permission" to the kids..told them if they wanted to that would be ok.
I think I'm mainly upset because he has moved on..(after 12 yrs together he told me he didnt love me anymore..& hadnt for a long time...totally out of the blue)
but what I keep coming back to is that they will be the "happy little family" going out together and doing "fun"things..(in the last 6 mos he has taken 3 different vacations with his gf)..I work constantly, shift work and the kids are constantly complaining that they dont see me very much..
I don't feel like the "fun" parent..I'm always sad, I'm trying but I just can't put the smile back on my face.
This may sound stupid but I'm afraid she will be "more fun" than me and in someways take my place...it doesnt help that my 6yr old daughter has been talking about if daddy gets married again will I have 2 mommies?..that I can't bear..
Yesterday I got a note from him when he dropped off the kids that he asked the kids if they wanted to meet his gf..they told him only if mommy doesnt get upset. :(
Since he & I dont really talk (he "shares" with me..wants me to be happy for him) I "gave permission" to the kids..told them if they wanted to that would be ok.
I think I'm mainly upset because he has moved on..(after 12 yrs together he told me he didnt love me anymore..& hadnt for a long time...totally out of the blue)
but what I keep coming back to is that they will be the "happy little family" going out together and doing "fun"things..(in the last 6 mos he has taken 3 different vacations with his gf)..I work constantly, shift work and the kids are constantly complaining that they dont see me very much..
I don't feel like the "fun" parent..I'm always sad, I'm trying but I just can't put the smile back on my face.
This may sound stupid but I'm afraid she will be "more fun" than me and in someways take my place...it doesnt help that my 6yr old daughter has been talking about if daddy gets married again will I have 2 mommies?..that I can't bear..

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Just always remember that NO ONE can EVER REPLACE you. Your children love and adore you and there is no other love like a Mother's love.
Hugs,
Lisa
thanks lisa..for someone so recently separated..you sound really together...
good luck to you I'll be thinking of you
Oh Sweetie, I am so so sorry for your pain. Life is not fair.
thank you for your thoughts
i'm just echoing what others have said -- you may not be the 'fun' parent, but i bet you're the one they depend on. that said, it's still hard, but you're doing the right thing. that the kids are concerned enough for your welfare to say they only want to meet the gf if it's ok shows that you're doing a great job raising respectful, loving kids. gf's will come and go (and even if they become stepmoms), but you'll always be a great mom.
hang in there.
kristin
Well, I know we will get through this difficult time and one day our lives will be happy again. I just can't see a future yet and have to go day by day for now, but I believe it will happen again for you too. It is nice to have someone else to talk with who is going thru a similar situation. It makes going on easier. Thanks for listening and know that I will think of you too.
Lisa
You will be okay. Just concentrate on taking care of yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. Surround yourself with supportive people. People you can lean on, not people who will drain YOU!. Heal your heart. Hugs and prayers!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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