last day as a married woman
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last day as a married woman
| Thu, 05-12-2005 - 5:08pm |
i'm signing my divorce paper tomorrow. i'm still living with my husband and as soon as we sign i'm booking my ticket and moving out, to a different country actually, back where i'm from. i don't know what i'm feeling right now, it's been like this since we took this decision. it's a very strange feeling. i'm not sure if it's numbness or just the fact that this is the right thing to do and so i'm not feeling anything. i don't know. "i don't know" seems to be my answer to everything at the moment! i'm only 29 and actually am feeling optimistic. been married for 4 years almost, never thought i would divorce of everyone i know! my husband is a good guy and i still love him, but i know he's not the right man for me as i'm sure i'm not the right one for him. i do feel excited at the prospect of giving myself a second chance to completely start over in a new country, new life, new job (hopefully sooner than later), new man one day...
any hints on what to expect?
(thanks for all the support. this website is my shoulder to cry on always)
Edited 5/12/2005 5:10 pm ET ET by maya770
any hints on what to expect?
(thanks for all the support. this website is my shoulder to cry on always)
Edited 5/12/2005 5:10 pm ET ET by maya770

I felt numb the day of my divorce...like i was just going through the motions. Focusing on who was watching my kids, etc instead of what was really happening.
The crazy part is, the weekend before the divorce (on a monday) my ex, the kids and I spent the whole weekend together. We had a great time just like the old days. It probably made it harder to see it end because I had hope for so long, but it was nice to see that we could still all be like this, and in the final days of our marriage, we were friends.
I will tell you this. The actual divorce is so non-eventful. I was suprised of the lack of drama, etc. The judge basically asked us both if this was what we wanted, and we were done. No closure what so ever.
After it was over, on the way home and the rest of that day, I went between numb and crying. I had known the marriage was over, but it felt like that was the only thing I had left to hold on to...the fact I was still his wife...and now that was gone too. If you have kids, have someone take them for the day. You may think you want to be with them to get ur mind off of it, or as love and support, but truthfully, if you can set up a play date or something...they can be having fun, you can have no guilt, and you can just "be" without pretending ur ok.
Good luck with all your new prospects!!
That is what I mean by it is so uneventful! The wedding took a year to plan, the marriage invited so many wonderful aspects into my life, and in 10 minutes someone just tells you it is officially over...and it is.
I have been divorced now for about 3 weeks (feels like 3 months) and I can tell you, it gets a little easier to handle everyday.
Best wishes!
Good luck today.... My advice for the future.... don't "expect" anything.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
thank you sooooooo much for all your supprt. you're all angels. today we singed the papers and in a few days i'll be all packed up and on my way back home. you were right, it was uneventful. after the signing we spent the day at the park, not talking, but just reflecting i guess. i think it did us both good coz we were so tense and crying before. but i believe this will be good for both of us and time will tell. for now i will need to focus on myself only. but eventually my doors will be open wide again. i feel a strange sense of serenity. i hope it lasts. i hope the day i leave this house that has become a big part of me, will be free of drama and sorrow.
i wish you all love, health, and happiness.
hugs and kisses
-maya