In-laws and holidays
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In-laws and holidays
| Sun, 10-16-2005 - 8:13pm |
I've been separated for one month now. I took my sons out to lunch with my husband's family- sisters, neices, nephew, parent's. We all get along really well. My husband was not there as he works and lives in another town. My sister-in-law was making Thanksgiving and Christmas plans and including me in those plans. His family is aware of our situation. Should I attend these holidays with his family or is that just too weird? I would definitely want my kids involved, but should I attend too? What would/did you do?

I agree with the previous post.
I can only speak from my own experience... during my separation and divorce, my xh separated himself from his own family, who did not approve of the way he suddenly decided to not be a father and really appeared to not be trying, when I was at the time desperate to save our marriage for my son... Before we even separated, it was normal for me and Joey to visit his parents every weekend... this continued during the separation and continues today. XH has moved out of state and is not in town very often... fences have been mended between him and his family and the last time he was in town, my son spent the weekend at xil's with xh. We do all holidays together, excluding xh... the one Christmas he was in town, he came by our house for an hour and then we went over to xil's... (xh went somewhere else)...
I realize that we have an unusual situation and I am proud of being able to work through it... my xmil once said, before the divorce was final, that I would always be her daughter in law... today is my son's fourth birthday and we had the family party at xil's house...
If it can work for your family, I highly encourage maintaining contact with the stbxil's as they are your children's family and right now they are going through a lot and any additional stability that can be provided should be encouraged. If stbx will be there for the holiday and you feel it would cause additional stress, discuss with your stbx and il's ahead of time, so that you can hopefully work out a schedule that will allow everyone who wants to (and should) see your children, be able to do so.
Good Luck!
Julie
i think that each situation is different and i can share my experiences with you:
when i got divorced from my first husband, who is the father of my son, i remained in contact with his family and he didn't. in the past few years, he has had NO contact at all with his family, or with his son. i feel very close
Hugs, Brenda
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~