Leftovers, Photos, What did you do with?
Find a Conversation
Leftovers, Photos, What did you do with?
| Wed, 07-06-2005 - 4:09pm |
Hmm.
I was wondering, what did you do with your photos from your relationship, wedding, etc? I have no one to save them for, as I don't have any children, and I have the fully elaborate wedding package, cost like $800+.
I have disposed of the wedding dress, and certain other things, but I don't know what to do with the fancy photo books and the photos from our time together. Any gifts that he gave me I have already made up my mind if I will keep them or get rid of them, and whether they bother me being in plain view on a daily basis. I've put my rings away, until I can afford to have something made with the diamonds. I am just having a tough time with the pics.
Any advice? Ideas? What did you do?

Pages
I have the photos..... ya know, it's not all bad memories.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Well, my ex and I werent legally married so no wedding photos to worry about. But there is the baby shower photos, the pics of us and the baby etc. Most of them are in photo albums and Im gonna leave them there. As much as he's hurt me, he was still a big part of my life and I dont want to erase him. I cant. Everytime I look at my son i see a piece of my ex. My son has his eyebrows (lol). That is one thing I will be forever grateful to my ex for. He gave me my son and he is amazing. So I just left them in the albums. In the beginning I did give him alot of the pics of him alone it was so painful. I even have video tapes of him and the baby. Im gonna keep them, there are some good memories but im in no place right now to look at them.
I believe someday I will be able to look at them and smile that is happened instead of crying that it's over. Im headed there....
I sold my dress and my rings. I did keep the photos and they are in a box in the basement. When my kids are old enough to want to know I will bring them out and show them the happiness we had. I did hang up 4 small pictures in their room, everyday my 19 month old and I say good morning to daddy A.
I got rid of a lot of things he gave me and a lot of things that were bought when I was with him. I guess I got rid of all the things that immediately remind me of him. I do have one photo album out that my son can look at ( and my daughter can look at anytime once she is older )
Since we didn't have kids, I didn't want many pictures of him. Probably because he was dishonest and looking at the pics made me think "he/we look happy, but what was really going on then?" I have several photo albums I like to look at now and then, and having that thought pop into my head while I'm trying to enjoy my photos wasn't productive. So I went through and tossed the pics of him alone and cropped him out of any I could. There were a few pics with him and other people I wanted to keep and a couple of me and him that I kept, but when I look at those particular pictures I don't have the negative thoughts I had with the ones I tossed.
For the wedding pics, I kept the pics of me with my family and friends (glad I did because there are a few people in those who are no longer with us), one pic of the full wedding party, and one pic of him & I - reduced a full photo album to a few pages. I don't keep those pics with my regular pics - they're in a little box of marriage/divorce stuff in the closet. I do also still have our wedding video - I haven't watched it and don't plan to, but haven't felt right about tossing it so I didn't.
I plan to sell my wedding dress and rings, but haven't yet. I don't think it's because I'm having trouble letting go - I think it's just because I'm a terrible procrastinator.
-sang
Brown,
I was divorced 8 years ago and I still have my dress, rings, and photo album. I packed them up and put them away. What I got rid of right away was my honeymoon lingerie! I wish now I had kept it; it was a gift from my Mother. It was beautiful and expensive. At the time it just represented something I didn't want to keep alive.
I have no children so I suppose my wedding gown will be sold one day after I'm gone as "vintage 1985" wear to some bride-to-be whose yet to be born! I haven't decided what to do with my rings. I had a .33 stone in the engagement ring and I later bought a wrap to put around it. I had a jeweler look at it a few months ago and they wouldn't give me very much for the set so I took it home again. My Ex didn't want the photo album 8 years ago and I hadn't looked at it until very recently. Now I think I'll return some family photos to him for their "historical" value. If he throws them away, that's his choice.
Sometimes its best to just put things aside when you aren't sure of what to do. If you have storage, think about packing the photos away for now. Later on, you'll be able to look at them more objectively.
Best wishes,
Wisdomtooth
I am coming at this from two points of view. The first side is the me who is really hurt and doesn't want to see pictures of my ex on a daily basis. We have a very young dd and I don't want to toss all of the pictures so I have tucked them away for our daughter to look at someday. I also kept my dress so that dd can see it way down the line. Everytime I find somehting I don't want to look at but think dd might enjoy someday, I put it in the rubbermaid container and call it good. I gave my rings to my sister to hold onto until I decide what I want to do with them. I will probably save them for dd as well. Until she is old enough, I guess they will hang out in my sister's creamer bowl in the china hutch. lol
My other side is looking at this question from the perspective of a young me. My parents divorced when I was in second grade. My mom saved all the wedding photos, dress, and rings for my sister and I to see one day. I have really enjoyed looking through them and seeing my parents when they were happy. My mom even gets a kick out of them. I am very glad my mom thought about us when she was keeping/throwing stuff.
There are things I wish I didn't have to see again and some things I have no idea what to do with. My ex gave me a beautiful fruit basket for our fourth anniversary and I really like it, but it reminds me of how much effort he put into that gift, but a year later, he couldn't put that much effort into saving our marriage. IT is still a really cool basket. I guess I will keep thinking about it.
I guess keep what feels good and trash the rest. I found a cracked frame and a wedding photo in a box today. I trashed the broken frame and have toyed with the idea of ripping the photo to shreds and sending it to the ex for our anniversary in a few weeks. I know, it is petty, but I didn't say I was going to do it. Maybe I will send it to the OW. lol. Just kidding. I put it in the box for dd.
Good luck in sifting through the leftovers.
neverdull
Pages