legal separation

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
legal separation
5
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 10:59pm
Hi, new to the board here, have been reading and found so much support. I have a question...tomorrow I will be filing for 'legal separation' from my husband of 14 years. He's an alcoholic and is verbally and emotionally abusive. We have 3 children 9yrs,6yrs and 3 yrs. I finally realized it was time to 'break the cycle' of abuse (he came from a verbally,emotionally abusive family). Anyway, last week he threatened to leave me one too many times and tomorrow I will file. Gave him the ultimatum 'get help or I'll divorce you'...so legal separtion is what we'll do while he moves out and works on himself. We've agreed that I will have custodial custody of the kids and live in the house, he will get an apartment/condo or something. Does anyone know if this arrangement is possible with legal separtion? We both want to stay on the mortgage, I'll just pay the monthly bill....he'll also pay me child support. I know tomorrow my attorney will tell me, but I just have so many questions tonight and I just know it will be a long sleepless night. Anyone have any suggestions for my meeting tomorrow? Thank you so much
Ann
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 8:27am

Just wanted to offer you hugs, Ann. It sounds like an arrangement that would be fine legally, but laws vary by state. So hopefully your lawyer will have good news for you that it is ok.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 8:32am
Thank you so much
Ann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 9:47am

I agree with sang... sounds good to me and very admirable you guys can agree :)


Hugs and good luck today.


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 12:19pm

Be aware that sometimes paying for a legal separation and then later paying for a divorce can be, financially, like having to buy two divorces. But that is just one of many aspects to making this decision, I'm sure you'll make the right one for you.

If you are to stay in the house and pay the mortgage, who will be the benificiary of the increased equity if you should decide to divorce two years from now? Who will put on a new roof? Who will pay the plumber when the kids try to flush a baseball? Property taxes? Who takes the tax deduction on the interest that YOU are paying? Who deducts the kids? Go to IRS.gov and find out exactly what criteria will make YOU a head of household and save you a huge amount in taxes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 6:20pm

My lawyer told me that in the 25 years he has been practicing he has done only 3 legal separations. I asked about that myself (I didn't feel I should have to pay for the whole divorce thing) but my lawyer suggested to me to do the divorce (of course when I was totally ready for it) rather than the legal separtion because once someone mentions divorce or starts arguig about one part of the legal separation you have to then file for divorce on top of the legal separation. I agree with the previous post but again states vary and I am in Michigan.

Good luck to you.