Let STBX get to me today, & bad news!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Let STBX get to me today, & bad news!
3
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 10:41pm
I had a bad day today, for a couple reasons - AND for the 1st time in a while, i let him really get to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2005
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 2:14am

What a beautiful daughter you have!!

I don't know what to say except it is best to not talk to STBX at all, there is nothing he can say to benefit you and most of the time it will get you down. If possible totally avoid him all together. My ex ignores his kids most of the time and when he does call, I have caller ID and I do not answer it (sometimes the kids don't want to either) If he is picking up the kids (which has happened about 4 times in the past 10 months and he lives in the same town I think, nobody really knows where he lives!) I don't go to the door or let him come in! I probably sound so mean but my ex will come in and make himself at home and stay TOO long for my comfort. When he takes the kids (they are 15yo, 13yo and 9yo) he will have them for about and hour and never takes them to his place because nobody can know where he lives, not even his own mother. He is an alcoholic and pot smoker so it's better he doesn't have them too long!

As far as the lawyer goes, mine ignores me too, it took so long that when we finally got to court the judge reprimanded both attorneys for dragging it out. I would call him and get no response, e-mail him with short responses that didn't answer anything. I thin one thing that helped is my Dad went in and said that he had a large payment for him and he would only give it to him if he put my file on top and took care of me now, he agreed and my Dad paid him. Could it be a money issue? Just keep calling and e-mailing him, plead with him to get this done, you need closure. I can't give you alot of good advice only say I have been there!

Something I did also was I bought a little device that records phone conversations, not that you can use it in court or anything but when your STBX acts up on the phone and you get all upset you can listen to it or have someone else listen to it and realize how stupid he really was behaving or figure out how you could have handled it better. You can get one of these at Radio Shack, cheap! It may be illegal where you live but if it's only for you personally I think it's ok. Don't ever tell him you have one.

Hold your heaad up and remember there is an end in sight, it's a rough road but one day you will be done and the bills will be paid and you will be so proud of how you handled things. Congrats on the custody!!! I got FULL custody too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 11:15pm

The plan:


1st, thanks so much for your kind words. & thanks! Averey is adorable ... but she WAS on my LAST nerve ALL DAY today! lol


Youre right, the less contact, the WAY better. I was doing well with that, & SEE what happens when i get into a conversation with him!?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 4:17pm
Having been in a similar situation with my first attorney, when I did go to fire him, I was totally intimidated and scared. How silly in hind-sight. He was the j***-a**. He was the one who made the wrong moves. He was the one who gave me erronious advise. He was the one who never answered calls. ETC. When I got to his office, I was hopping mad. It gave me the adrenilan rush that helped me get through the visit. I suspect that you will have a similar thing happen. I'm glad that you have a friend to give you such great advise!! That helps a lot. Do you have a friend who can come with you. That may help, too. You may not hear something or may have a different perception of what is said than another person. Having someone there with you can help with those things. I'll be thinking of you!

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