Let's Roll Call...

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Let's Roll Call...
54
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 10:29pm

Give us the basics, or as much as you feel comfortable giving... name, location, children, etc...

Tell us a little bit about yourself... what part of the process you're in...

And... one quote or song that has really spoken to you through this process...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 10:53pm

Is it too late to reply to this one? I've been wondering who everyone is. I'm a professional with a graduate degree working in a small town in Ohio. I am 41 and have been married for 21 years (more years as a Mrs. than a Miss...hmmm). Just wondering if I'll be a Ms. after the dissolution. Anyway, I have three children. Oldest DD is 17 and is a super student who does sports and is involved in many clubs. Middle DS is 10 and is ADHD and loves sports and animals. The youngest DD is 8 and is a girly-girl who loves to socialize and read. The two youngest are like oil and water. Makes it tough for me!

As for my (current) favorite quote, it would be "what's your peace of mind worth?" My best friend kept repeating this to me as I began the separation process, and now on to a dissolution. Those who have been through this, are often able to give the best advice and insight. Others try to comfort, but they really don't understand the turmoil of the situation. I don't think anyone gets married with the thought of eventually divorcing. My counselor said that we grieve for what we HAD and for what we HOPE we could have had.

Jo... but no "e" on the end of that please..lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 6:45am

I'm Julie, I live in TN, and I have 2 DDs ages 5 and 2. STBX moved out in September, at my request, but I have yet to take any legal action. Don't really know what's holding me back--I do not think we can ever live together again, and I know my DDs deserve to grow up in a peaceful home, not one where Mommy's mad all the time.

STBX lives about a mile from us now, so he can see the girls more often and so he can get here quickly if we need him. We are friendly for the most part, and talk by phone most every day. Sometimes we will even run an errand for each other. But then there are some days when I just wake up mad and feel like I hate him!

I have been a SAHM since I was pregnant with my 5yo. I am one of the lucky ones: STBX and my dad are helping me financially so I can continue to stay home for a little while longer. 5yo starts Kindergarten this fall; I may go back to work when I only have 1 to put in daycare.

The quote that keeps me going is from my 5yo: "You are just the best Mommy!" She said this to me a week or so after he moved out, and has many times since then. She NEVER said things like that before. I think I was just so stressed and anxious and mad that I wasn't able to be the Mommy she needed me to be. Knowing that she and my 2yo are now getting what they need from me helps keep me going!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 8:53am

Hi... I'm Ali and i live in North Central PA in a tiny, uninspired, gossipy, PITA of a small, small town... i am currently a project manager however in about 4 months i will be losing my job because the company i work for has been sold and i will not be accepting a position with the new company...(nothing about them makes me want to work for them...) instead i'll be headed to CO to live with my sister for awhile.... no children by choice... not even a pet at this point... not until i get settled somewhere....

It's been over a year since my XH and i separated (it'll be a year in June that the divorce was final)...After more then 10 years of marriage (together 16+)... spent half my life with him.... still feel the pain although i've been dating someone rather serious for the past 4-5 months.... but i know i'm not ready to commit my life and my love to someone new right now (XH has... moved in with the GF "officially" after our house was sold... thank goodness he's 4 hours away so i don't have to see either of them...)

There have been so many songs and quotes that have gotten me through... some songs are more of a "hate tune" but the quotes are generally good...

Quotes:
"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were."
Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"

Anything worth doing/having is worth working hard for. ~Unknown

Song Quote:
"I've been defeated and brought down; Dropped to my knees when hope ran out; The time has come to change my ways; On this day I see clearly everything has come to life; A bitter place and a broken dream; And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

I'll never long for what might have been; Regret won't waste my life again; I won't look back
I'll fight to remain: On this day I see clearly everything has come to life; A bitter place and a broken dream; And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me; Everything has come to life; Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel; Chance to feel alive...." Alter Bridge - Metalingus

Ali

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 9:05am

Hi Jo..... I agree, and that's part of what's so confusing.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 9:08am
Hello neighbor Tennessean!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 1:53pm

Hi: I'm Nancy and I live in the beautiful mountains of Wyoming. My H and I are currently in a bit of limbo considering divorce. I have given him an ultimatum, get some counseling with me or......we can't keep falling into the same old patterns and need the marriage to either get better or realize it won't work.

We have one beautiful DD age 7 who is the main reason I have stayed in the marriage so long. But I now realize that either our family needs to become functional or we need to fix it by whatever means even if it means divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 2:13pm

I'm about an hour and a half away from you. . . Cookeville. Know anyone in these parts?

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 2:52pm
Hey Ali. I had to laugh when I read your PITA comment. I have used that acronym before and it's a fav of mine! Hope you're having a good day. Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 4:46pm

Well, I know one of the teachers at TN Tech!.... in the engineering department :-)


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 5:50pm

My name is Kristi and I have two children - DD will be 7 on 4/22 and DS is 4.5. We have lived in Vancouver, WA for just 1.5 years, before that born and raised in Hunt. Beach, CA. I've been "officially" divorced for 8 days now!!!! Basically, I married my rebound from a college sweetheart who broke my heart. He has rage issues, has different values/morals than I and is very disrespectful.

Songs? Wow! I'm a music junkie, so there are many. "Bleed" by Anna Nalick, actually pretty much the whole CD; I have to admit, Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive", and "Weight of the World," Chantal Kreviazik.

"And I am not a force to be reckoned with and you don't have a clue what you're messin' with....Baby, now you're just another song to me and the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me to bleed." - Anna Nalick