letting go
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| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 7:07pm |
Hello,
I've only been married a few years but I've been with my husband for about 13 years. He is my best friend. I recently asked for a divorce because I realized that I got married for all the wrong reason. I was settling and even though I wasn't happy with the relationship, I went forward with it anyway. Like I said, he is my best friend. I love him like a family member. Throughout our years together we've had a lot of great times but there was never any passion or romance. Anyway, we own a house together and neither one of us can afford to move out until the house is sold so we are living together but separately. Obviously this is really uncomfortable. He doesn't want the divorce but I haven't changed my mind. I think the hardest part will be to say goodbye to someone who has been a constant in my life for all of my adult years. He's been my go-to guy and he's done nothing wrong. He has suggested counseling but I know that won't change my mind.On the one hand I look forward to the future but on the other hand it breaks my heart to leave him.
Thanks for reading

I saw your reply to another post (you replied to my follow-up post, rather than to the original poster :-)). Anyway, I assume from your post here that you do not have children ... that makes things "easier" in that you don't have to weigh the cost to them of the divorce.
I also assume you and your husband have both worked very hard at "saving" the marriage, through counseling or other efforts (there are good programs and workshops out there).
If you both know you gave the marriage everything you had and it still fails, then sometimes divorce can free two people to become the best people they can be whereas staying in the marriage does not permit them to be the best person they can be.
For me, it comes down to that. Marriage involves a commitment and that commitment should only be broken for the most profound reasons whether or not there are children involved.
As for living separately in the same home. It can be done. My stbx and I have tolerated each other for more than 6 months now. He moves out in two weeks.
M
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~