a life more than 2x a month
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| Sun, 06-17-2007 - 4:32pm |
I ran into an old friend who is single and he asked a mutual friend what my current situation is. He explained I am in the middle of getting divorced. So I get an email from the old friend asking if I'd like to have dinner. I said yes. He is nice, funny and cute. I admit it - I'm interested.
Now I am weirded out. I haven't been on a date in about a billion years (okay a little more than a decade).
I guess what I am most unsure about is the kids. I have been very worried that stbx was going to introduce the OW into their lives - even as a casual friend - too soon. Of course he gets 28 days a month from which to choose without having to think about the kids seeing her.
Now that the shoe is on the proverbial other foot - I am feeling a little cheated (no pun intended) out of having a romantic life for myself.
Sure at first, I could go out the two nights a month they are with their dad. I am happy to get a sitter on nights I go out with my friends. But what about date nights? Even if the kids are asleep by the time I get home and I want to invite someone in for a bit - what if they wake up? Am I getting too ahead of myself - how does anyone do this? This partcular guy lives about 45 minutes away so I could go out with him near him (and pay the sitter an hour and a half just to get their and back!)
Or am I just looking for excuses not to get back out there?

I would say it's *definitely* worth the babysitting money, and I know what you mean about not putting your children in the middle of a new relationship. So don't. If he's worth it at all, he will understand. :)
My two cents?
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I totally agree with everything that that has already been said here. You do need to get out and it does wonders for your self esteem to have that kind of attention paid to you. I think it is well worth the paying the babysitter whatever is necessary in order to have that time for you.
I just moved out of our marital home in May and started dating a former co-worker whom I have known quite well for the past 10-14 yrs. I have already realized that I have my girls WAY too much to actually have a life.... I have them 25 days per months whereas STBX has them a maximum of 6! Since I have known my new beau as long as I have our relationship has progressed at a faster rate than it might have had I started dating someone new. As Karen says this s the inevitable transition between "what am I going to do without my babies?" to "Please foster that ever important relationship with your daughters and take them more frequently!"
best of luck to you!
Rose
Go out and have fun, but get a babysitter!
Cat
Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7