Lifestyle choices

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Lifestyle choices
12
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 9:49am

Phew.

Shoes keep dropping around here -- there aren't just two :-).

So, my stbx says he can't get home until X time so I can go to my appt. I ask why; he says because he is cutting out on his *yoga* class early as it is!

His YOGA class!!! Oh geesh! This was his tactic when he was in college -- take ballet so he could wear tight leotards and hang out with the chicks -- and here he is employing it to meet chicks when he's in his late 40s -- it's a tactic, I guess and as long as he takes his wedding ring off, he's fair game, right?

Ostensibly he is doing it to lose weight and get in shape because of some significant health concerns and I am all for that, but it is all part of this whole new life he is creating for himself -- the single life -- whole new wardrobe, new books, new computer, shopping all the time and going to yoga and flirting with the girls. There's more I can't post here.

It makes me sick to think he is happily walking away from his children, his home, his *married* life. There are guys out there who want this, want this commitment, want to come home to a family; think it is a GOOD thing, but not my stbx; to h#ll with is young children and his duty toward them--he wants to take care of HIM!!!

So he plays.

I work, worry, try to figure out how we are going to survive, try to figure out how *I* am going to have time to take care of my physical health in all this.

And the sahms whose ranks I am leaving, they get to stand around pre-school chatting about what size their toddlers are wearing and stressing over cushions for their window seat and signing up for mid-day bible studies.

And there I stand between the two ... it is a hard place to be.

I will make it; it can be good, but boy do I think my stbx is a miserable selfish ... you name it.

Thanks for letting me vent!

M

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: nymava
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:40am

Hi~


Ya know, there were just sometimes that I think I wanted to feel like the victim.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: nymava
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 12:51pm

Thanks for the link.

I think I concluded my vent by saying I was going to, of course, do the absolute best I could to take care of my kids and myself.

I don't know what journey you have taken, but I am in the early days of this painful (even brutal process); I have alot more feelings to experience and work through.

This process is going to be devastating for my children emotionally and have devastating financial consequences for all of us -- gonna make the best life I can, but I would never *choose* to do this to my family as my stbx is choosing. I'd rather work on saving the family/marriage. Not given that choice (it takes two) I will put my kids first and give them the best life I can.

But, everyone's story is different. Thanks for your ideas; I will consider them.

M

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