"Limited Divorce"--anyone familiar??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
"Limited Divorce"--anyone familiar??
8
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 11:23am
I have been doing my divorce research--I do not want my marriage to end--I want it to work out. I have heard about a "limited divorce"--I am consulting my lawyer tomorrow for further details, but wanted to find out if anyone had dealt with this type of situation. It states in the limited divorce info that I have found that the court would order reconciliation efforts--what would you consider that to be?? I'm thinking definitely counseling, but not sure what else. Anyone have any thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:20pm

I've never heard of it...... interesting.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:30pm
What I found says all of what you said and " The court can require that the parties participate in reconciliation efforts". That may not be for all states. I don't know--but will find out. Also found that I can nail him to a tree for even his little "friendship" that he has going on right now--even if it has not become physical yet. So..needless to say he and I are having a talk tonight about all of this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:35pm
Let us know how it goes.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 12:08pm

<<" The court can require that the parties participate in reconciliation efforts".>>

While the courts may be able to make him participate, they can't make him want to participate. I don't think a reconciliation can be successful unless both parties want it and are willing to put 100% effort into saving the marriage. I definitely think it's a good idea to sit down and discuss with your husband how you're both feeling and what you want to happen. If you can sit down and discuss things rationally, there may be some hope for salvaging the marriage through counselling. But if your goal is a reconciliation, I'd be cautious about making threats or trying to force a reconciliation legally. If he's angry and resentful of you, he is less likely to participate and can justify to himself why he needs his 'friend.'

Wishing you the best.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:23pm
DH and I sat down last night and had a lengthy discussion about what my options were regarding our seperation/divorce. We agreed to go to 6 weeks of counseling together as well as marriage enrichment classes. We will also attend functions for the children together , and a minimum of 2 hours a week do an enjoyable activity together--dinner movies, walks, etc. , so that we can use the things we are learning in counseling to work towards a possible reconciliation. His "friend" is getting put on the back burner--YAY...
He will also be going to OB appointments with me for the baby. In the 6 weeks we will jointly discuss and reevaluate our situation and go from there one way or another.
I obviously am praying for the best--but only God actually knows what will happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 2:30pm
That sounds like a great plan!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 8:48am

I'm glad to hear your discussion went so well. It sounds like there are enough feelings left between the two of you that counselling is the right route. It won't be easy - it will be tough for him to address his mistakes and what's behind them, and for you to regain trust in him. But I think any time there's a possibility of saving a marriage you owe it to each other to explore it. If it doesn't work out, then you will know you tried everything you could. And if you can work through this, you will probably come through it a stronger couple. Sending good thoughts your way.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 9:04am
Thank you for the good thoughts! I am praying for the best of course. We sat down yesterday and typed up the agreement for the terms of our reconciliation period, and amazingly enought we agreed on just about everything!! I go to counseling by myself today and we will start together next week, and I am excited! I am trying to stay positive, and know that we have ALOT to work through but we have alot of good support from his dad and our other family and friends too. Lots of prayers are coming our way so I really ahve faith that God wil be helping us through this.