Living in the same house
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| Thu, 12-21-2006 - 7:24pm |
I am very appreciative of all the support the members of this board have given to me. Everyone's rational perspective is helping me get through this difficult time.
My dilemma -- My STBX and I work together and for the moment are getting along. I am very anxious however on my drive home. I do what I need to do and he sits on the couch as normal. When it's time for me to go to bed he sleeps on the couch and talks to his "girl friend" for many hours. He is acting now as if he is single. He is out with his friends which I never stopped him from doing before. He tells me and says he really doesn't have to but he is. He will be traveling to see his "girl friend" right after Christmas. I will take the kids on a "family" vacation. When we come back, my lawyer says we can have a meeting to start the mediation process so he figure out what alimony and child support will be so he can buy me out of the house. I would like to buy my own place closer to my family and fix it up before I move in. My question - does anyone have any advice as to how to live with someone who is interested in someone else? I can only close the door to my room for so long to avoid listening to him talking to his "friend"
On a positive note - I took the kids while STBX was out partying. We went to a bar/grill with arcade games for the kids. Someone who I have seen once before (when STBX and I were playing pool and said nice shot to me) gave the kids some quarters and was high - fiving them when they were playing well. I said thanks. As we left, this person wished us a merry christmas. I wanted to go back however, I have to be responsible and help my son study for his spelling exam. Thanks everyone for listening!!!

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I understand your soaking up the attention of another man and thinking about Going back there believe me I do. but it will only hurt the situation and he will just twist around to say you deserve his infidelity which you dont. we are women and we need romance and man to compliment us and let us know we are worthy of their attention. but try to wait until your divorce is final and give yourself time to heal.
I am trying not to look at him today.......and if I start to remember good times I just shut it out.
Life can be so full and we have so many more important and less hurtful things we can focus on in our lives. I was a different person yesterday if you read my first post and perhaps who knows how I will be tomorrow. all we can do is try! I got a ton of pics of my grandkids today and that was such a warm blessing!
I would suggest my H get an apartment but he is leaving to boom out to a new job in a few weeks ......plus he is paying the bills. I do have my country music on though. hehe
its time I took over my own surroundings and make the home I want and that makes me feel good.
maybe your H could do some of the man things around your house before he leaves if he can find time and get bored. so make a list I say! Mine is busy sorting his paperwork etc and packing a little and took a few things to storage today. I dont know if I can get him to fix a couple things he has neglected. oh well........will call my brother. he can fix anything!!
Over,
I too live in the home with my STBX. My situation is very strange. STBX was served with divorce papers, and didn't go to court. Apparently he thinks if he doesn't go to court, doesn't move out, and continues to sleep on the couch, then we aren't getting divorced. What a Jack@$$. He better get his act together. We haven't been able to pay our mortgage for 4 months and foreclosure is emminent.
It is so stressful, but not for long. I signed a lease for February 1 and I can start moving the 15th if I choose to. I can't wait to take my children get out of that house. I plan on telling him Christmas Eve that I am leaving on January 20th. Merry Christmas to me.
Christine
Yes congrats on the sale of your house! thats wonderful! I am keeping the house but it isnt much, but I will enjoy fixing it up more when he is gone. I hope I can pay the mortgage but that will come first in my life as we have to have a roof over our heads right? Our garage roof is totally wasted. I have no idea what I will do. Have you ever wondererd what it would be like to be a homeless person .....with her cart and her stuff all in it and the cold and the fear ........I have. I do have kids but you know some of us just would hate to be a burden.
I am a tad better each day I hope. I did start crying right after waking up this am. I dont think I have ever had this emotional roller coaster in my life like this. thinking I am ok one minute then balling my eyes out all the sudden. not even and build up just BANG ........here comes the pain and tears
I know it was a toxic relationship 28 years of it LOL so I dont know why there is so much pain and such a flood of tears! I am usually a tough cookie but that has gone with the wind.
It helps me so just to come to this board and write my feelings out.
He is busy taking things to storage so he can go to the next job and be out of here. Also my adult son who is here has leased an apartment in a nother state with a friend. I hate to see him go but at the same time this house is so small and I work at home and I need to space again so badly.
That hurts so much when they sneak away to call her. My H goes out to his car alot.
I can check our cell phone records and he talks to her about an hour a day on the avg.
that is more than he talked to me in a day in 28 years.
My H would always make fun of me when I cried when what I needed was to be held.
I was looking at him standing outside today and I could see his cruelty more than his kindness. and was thinking .....do I really love this man?
All of you have a wonderful Christmas. ~!!
Who ARE these men??! My STBX can be a jerk at times, but these guys sound just plain HORRIBLE. Of course, I am not living with him and there is no other "anyone" for either of us. That might make a difference.
Best wishes to all of you.
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