Living in the same house

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Living in the same house
22
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 7:24pm

I am very appreciative of all the support the members of this board have given to me. Everyone's rational perspective is helping me get through this difficult time.

My dilemma -- My STBX and I work together and for the moment are getting along. I am very anxious however on my drive home. I do what I need to do and he sits on the couch as normal. When it's time for me to go to bed he sleeps on the couch and talks to his "girl friend" for many hours. He is acting now as if he is single. He is out with his friends which I never stopped him from doing before. He tells me and says he really doesn't have to but he is. He will be traveling to see his "girl friend" right after Christmas. I will take the kids on a "family" vacation. When we come back, my lawyer says we can have a meeting to start the mediation process so he figure out what alimony and child support will be so he can buy me out of the house. I would like to buy my own place closer to my family and fix it up before I move in. My question - does anyone have any advice as to how to live with someone who is interested in someone else? I can only close the door to my room for so long to avoid listening to him talking to his "friend"

On a positive note - I took the kids while STBX was out partying. We went to a bar/grill with arcade games for the kids. Someone who I have seen once before (when STBX and I were playing pool and said nice shot to me) gave the kids some quarters and was high - fiving them when they were playing well. I said thanks. As we left, this person wished us a merry christmas. I wanted to go back however, I have to be responsible and help my son study for his spelling exam. Thanks everyone for listening!!!

Brenda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 12:27pm
I agree with you. I wouldnt be able to stand it. And as you I refered to his whatever as a name we most likely cannot say on this message board. Get out or kick him out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:29pm
that's exciting when you get attention from soneone isn't it? i am too living with my stbx, and it's not easy..especially when i filed for divorce, yet he seems to have all the control. i am sleeping on the couch, he referrs to what was once "our room" as HIS room, "our house" to HIS house, manipulates the time with the kids, and only will be flexible with our arrangement when it suits him. our roles have now reversed where i am working 2 jobs, and am always working, and he is now not working and home all the time. my kids are 4 and 6 and i am doing my best to just assure them over and over how we both love them, and that things will be ok. i hope they are doing as ok as they seem to be. i am now staying with my signifigant other (almost an hour away) on stbx's days with the kids, and having to tell the kids i won't be there (on the stinking couch) when they wake up is so hard. they don't know i am involved with another man, but stbx does, and in his sarcastic tone will make a point to tell them i am at my "friends" house. anyway i just wanted you to know you're not alone, and i hope for us all in this position things become less chaotic, and confusing to everyone involved! ((hugs))
Robin

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