Living with your X
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Living with your X
| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 11:53am |
Anyone else live with their x? For the last 3 years my x and I have been living together and apart (separate rooms, lives, activities, etc.). What we have been doing joint is helping the kids financially and otherwise, which has made it impossible for me to move out for at least another two years (sooner if I'm lucky). We did go to counseling and get relationship/house/child raising rules. For the most part it works, but I am looking very forward to having my own place.
As we are now discussing divorce and sorting out what is what it has added some extra pressure, and I'm wondering if anyone has some words of wisdom.
Cheryl

God I dont know how you do it. I had a hard enough time getting over my ex once we separated completely. I had to do the no contact thing to really get over the end of the relationship. He wanted to be "roommates". We have a son together. There's no way I could have done that.
Having my own place is great. My own space etc. It took alot of getting used to especially the nights but I love it. I do what I want, when I want. No more waiting for him to get home, wondering who he's with ya know. You need to separate so you can move on and find the new you.
Good luck.
Serina,
Try and remain as cerebral as possible.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
I like the new old me, lol. Could not care less who he is with or what he does - there isn't any connection other than the kids and present financial restrictions. I do what I want and with whoever I want as does he. Getting my own place means not helping my kids get off to a good start. I'm paying for half a mortgage, etc. for them for the next two years. So unless I win a lottery, don't help my kids, or decide that my new home will be a cardboard box in an alley I think I'll stay.
He is a good man and we get along great, like brother/sister, when we see each other. There are all kinds of living arrangements. It works even if it isn't ideal, and its not forever.
Cheryl
Cheryl
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Very good advice, and yes... I do get away many weekends or he does. That is how we see this arrangement, like a business deal to helping our kids. Keeping that in perspective will help me a lot. Thanks
Cheryl
Cheryl
Loonar Gifts
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Wow, you are a stronger woman than I am. I did it for three months and I thought I was going to lose it. My ex wouldn't leave until the divorce was final or until he saved enough money for an apartment. Unfortunately it takes working regularly to save up the money and he didn't like that idea. One day he got really mad at me and left three times, the last time he packed a bag so he was out. I had been advised by my attorney that he is out if he packs and WOO HOO was I happy! As for how I made it three months, I have no clue. It wasn't easy and I complained all the time (ask anyone here...). If you can do it without it damaging anyone - you included- then it's may be a good choice for your family. But if anyone is miserable I say get out on your own. Good luck.
Mel